The clock on the wall clearly showed that Scott was late. There was no way of getting around the facts: Scott had arrived at school an entire 10 minutes after 9 AM. Everyone else was waiting for Scott, because he was supposed to present first, but as the clock ticked past another minute, Scott was nowhere to be seen.
Suddenly an exhausted Scott burst into the room and sat down at his desk. He had sprinted across the campus like a madman, and was soaking with sweat. The teacher asked Scott why he was late. This is what he said.
Scott had woken up that morning in his bed. That part was certainly normal. He got up and looked out of the window. Outside his home he saw the moon stretching on as far as the eye could see, he wasn't on Earth. That wasn't so normal. Confused by why he was on the moon, Scott decided that he would think better when he wasn't so hungry. He walked downstairs and poured himself some cereal. As he ate, for Scott really did think much better when he was no longer hungry, he slowly realized he had most likely been abducted by aliens. It was either that or he had trained to be an astronaut and had just completed his first moon walk but had knocked his head on something. But in that case his house from back when he was only 13 probably wouldn't be on the moon.
Aliens it was, then. Scott decided that he had made a rather astonishing discovery, and that he should probably put the fact that aliens exist into his presentation for science class. That should get him a good grade.
"I have a question," said Ellie, while Scott was explaining why he was late, "How did the aliens get your entire house on the moon?"
"That's a very good question Ellie," Scott replied, "I suppose they must have used one of those giant rays in their spaceships that they always use to abduct people in movies."
The teacher had taken a seat now, and was questioning his life choices.
"Now," Scott said, "If I may continue..."
Scott decided he should probably take the UFO that the aliens had used to get him there to get to school. I'm probably going to be late, he had thought, let's hope that there isn't much UFO traffic this morning. Unfortunately there was a UFO traffic space jam, and Scott had been called a ghdgahgdsjdjadhj multiple times before he got through it because he was really trying get to school on time
Scott had looked at his teacher pleadingly after saying that last bit, he already had multiple tardies and would get detention if his teacher decided that he was unjustifiably late this morning. The teacher, however, was looking emptily at the trash can as if it could help him get the class back under control.
Scott had arrived at the planet Earth with just a few minutes to spare, he would have been on time. That was if the Gorgadrollians hadn't arrested him because in space, pouring the cereal before the milk was a crime punishable by death. Scott had tried to argue with Trewquert, his abductor, but Trewquert had stayed adamant even after Scott had demonstrated that it wasn't his fault that on Earth everyone ate their cereal that way and he didn't know about the law in space. However Trewquert did have one weakness: he really loved the reality television shows that Earth produced in such magnitude. In fact, the entire galaxy had a soft spot for them, it was the only reason that everyone on Earth hadn't been killed because they poured their milk and cereal the wrong way. Exploiting that, Scott had given Trewquert his Netflix account and password and Trewquert had gladly let Scott go.
"Wait a minute," Tom said, "Why would Netflix have servers that could broadcast into space? Wouldn't all the aliens pirate the content on the site with their advanced technology?"
"Netflix doesn't have servers like that. You're right, and you got the reason why right on the money," answered Scott, "but Trewquert didn't know that. He was rather dense. And it was a good thing that he was, for it was because of him I managed to get to school only ten minutes late!"
Scott had just finished his story when the teacher quit to pursue his dream of becoming a painter, and Scott was pardoned for his lateness because he had made the greatest scientific discovery ever.
YOU ARE READING
Why Were You Late?
HumorAn homage to Fortunately The Milk. Scott is late to school one day. When confronted by his teacher's question: 'Why were you late?', he takes a long breath, preparing to tell his story. And boy does he have a story to tell.