this isn't a love or romance story, just a story i made for my friend to thank her for existing
while i should: jump jump more more jump
(because i might be gone very soon)
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🤍
my masks feel like they're about to break again... why don't I go to my other world to help myself a bit? and no, i'm not crafting some crazy device to take me to some crazy dimension. i don't need to make one either. because it's all in my head!
your confused? ( i mean, i would tell you about all of them, but they might expose who I am, so sorry!) listening to music helps bring them to life helps me pretend im them helps me feel like im not in this cruel world of things i don't like it's like an escape
but when i look in the mirror it all breaks my character breaks it all comes back the thoughts my apperance the version of me that dosen't match up to my real self
and every time i look at myself i feel like old photos of me float around me and when that happens i feel like someone keeps taking pictures of me smiling and being happy and more floating photos add to the collection but that's not how i feel so when I give off a different expression they stare at me weirdly to some point that i want to destroy the camera and then moving on to shatter the photos
but that wouldn't be me right? my masks will shatter like glass if that happens and then they won't know who i am without my masks
the only friends i have know almost how i act but only i know the real self the me that dosen't lie to anyone else about how I feel because i'm me because if your too honest you'll either be yelled at about how your only a child and can't feel this way, or messages to stay in this useless life delusion, or other things. after all, we are just other useless members of soceity that wouldn't affect any other people's life or history whattsoever. and we just get the same fate as many people anyway either live up to your parent's expectations, and become a lawyer or something or be someone everyone uses you as a bad example for, and work at some fast food restaurant.
the problem is....i don't see a future for myself. at least, i don't see myself existing any further than the point i am at now. am i thinking wrong? my parents trust me to get a good job and become the successful child and make everyone proud. i can't let them down. but i'm tired of being here at the same time. i can bet you...my five-year-old self who wanted to be a ballerina would look so disappointed after seeing how I turned out.
i know it's not too late to change things, however where do I start? even if i tried, i would most likely go back to where i started.
what do i do?
it's ok. i have my imaginary friends they help a lot. they don't do anything good, but nothing bad either. they at least listen to me. yes, my current friends do listen to me. i can be more honest with my imaginary friends though.
