Unexpected (Ace Frehley)

Assey

I wake up to find myself with my head on the table. Ofcourse with a terrible headache. I reach over to the note. Holding it in my hand. I miss him and i know it but the note says talking about the fucking pregnancy. Ahh i'll call tonight.

I head out the door to Alexa's appartment. As she opens up, embracing me in a hug. "Sav, why didn't you awnser my calls". She stands there with a sad face. "Come in, please". I notice her noticing as i walk by. A lumb forms in my throat. We sit down on the couch. "She's gone". It's better to get this over with quick "Oh, i'm sorry". "My body rejected it". I let out a deep breath and sit next down to her. "It's better this way. Even tho i started to love her. It's better like this". She puts a hand around me and lets my head rest on her shoulder. "It is. It is". A silence passes. The gold morning sun still shining on our faces. "Ace left a note. He wants to talk about the pregnancy.... but.. that's not there anymore". She debates on what to say. "It would be good for you guys to talk about it. Atleast let him know". I think i can do that.

Hands trembling as i push in the numbers. Okay here we go. Just say that it's gone. There's nothing more for you to talk about. The waiting of the phone feels like an itternatie. To my luck it ends. "Hello?" His voice on the other side of the phone makes me want to not have called. "Hey, Ace". A long silence passes as i hear him taking in a breath. "How is it holding out". "Bad". The only word that can describe it. "What why?" I want to awnser but i choke on my words. "A- i'm... it's. She's dead". I close my eyes not wanting to hear his awnser and hang the phone back up. Good, i still have the second bottle of vodka. My eyes go blurry as i lay down on the couch trying to fall asleep. Please just, i don't want to think about it. Let me sleep. It's night so why can't i. I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm not fucking happy. Nothing seems to make me happy anymore. Fifteen minutes later and also fifteen sips of alcohol later. The door unlockes itself. I can't care if it's a murderer. Please fucking take me. Eyes closed as i feel a hand on my forehead going down my neck to feel my heartbeat. "Unfortunately i'm still alive". I speak as i open my eyes. Why him. We lock eyes for a few seconds. "I'm sorry Savanna". I turn around not wanting to put any interest in the confersation, knowing dahm wel it's gonna hurt. "Come on, it's not your fault". As i try to take a sip of vodka, he takes the bottle away. "Oh come on, don't take that away from me too". Eyes squeezed shut as i try not to picture my numb body on the floor again. "Wanna go for a walk?" "I don't know". He takes my hand pulling me up to my feet. "Just come with me. It's good for you". I sigh, giving in to whatever he wants to do. We make our way down the streets of New York not saying anything to eachother. "I'm sorry". I say finally speaking. "What are you sorry for?" "Not telling you". He doesn't say anything. "I should've told you when i found out". He takes my hand. "I don't know what i whould've done if it didn't went wrong. I'm not saying it's good cause it aint but i really wouldn't know what to do, you know". I think about what he says and it makes sense. Maybe i need to look on the bright side, but i don't want to. Cause i can't tell myself that this is any kind off good. "I know what you mean. But i really was planning on her. I don't know why i got attached, it's hard to explain". "Well i'm happy that your still here". He can be but i'm not. I feel like i'm on a slow path down the hill and i want to die right now. Not just now, but the last couple of weeks. How much more people want something from me. How much more pressure i get. I thought i didn't feel pressure but now i do. The only thing that gave me support were Alexa the baby and the phone calls between me and to a different country. "I'm not". He looks at me with an unexplainable look in his eyes. "What?" "You heard me. I want to die". "Oh, do you want to talk about it?" "No. I don't, i want to forget it and pretend i don't want to die. In a couple of weeks i'm going to be completely fine".

We quietly make our way back to out appartment. "Mind if i stay?" "I don't care". I pick up the bottle of vodka, witch he emmediatly takes away from me again. "Fuck you". "Go to bed Sav". I make my way over just like him. Laying in seperate beds. I look over at him. He always looks so peacefull when he's asleep. "Ace?" To my suprise he isn't. "What is it Savanna?" "Do you want to lay down next to me?" I whisper at him. As his eyes flicker open and glinster in the moonlight, that shines thro the gap in the curtains. He makes his way over getting in next to me. I slide my hand across his chest as his hand goes around my waist. "Goodnight". I hate it. I hate it. I hate this. I hate that i want him so much. I hate every single thing about how this went and i hate every single thing about how it's going to be. But deep down inside i know i don't, but if i keep lying to myself i'll eventually start to believe it, right?