Without You

Many days I sat here. Sat and waited for you to come and tell me you loved me one more time. Sat and waited for the telephone to make the familiar ringing noise I was so used to every day and night. Sat and waited to feel that hole in my heart be finally fulfilled.

But there will always be that lingering knowing in the back of my mind that constantly nags me that everything I wish for is just a fantasy.

Every kiss that was left on my lips. Every tight embrace that made me never want to let you go, made me feel safe and secure. Every three letter words whispered in the dark of night as our limbs were tangled in an intimate moment. Like we never wanted to leave each others side, not even for the most valuable riches in the world.

The times we felt like the whole world would just stop in a blink of an eye with just one kiss. The times when we would sound like a bunch of cackling hillbilly's in our sweats and tshirt's due to the smallest bickering.

And even the times when our fights would turn into a screaming match to nothing.

The fights that made me wish I never met you.The fights that would lead to a broken picture frame and had you landed with a bright red hand print on your stubbly cheek.

Memories that were etched into my mind that I would never forget. Like our first date. We were young and naive, never taking a second glance at either one of our crimson red features as our hands touched on the ferris wheel. My heart rate picking up a'million times faster. Licking my lips as the chilled air dried them up at each aspirated breath I drew. Then finally ending the fairytale date with a fairytale kiss. Slow and gentle, full of fear and passion.

But now it's been two months. Two months of nothing but pure somber and regret. Two months since my world turned upside down. Two dreadful months since you left me. Two months since I Last saw your smile, heard your laugh, kissed your lips, held you tight. Two months since I haven't been able to look at a picture of you without breaking down and screaming unheard wishes to the sky.

But now that your gone, there is nothing I could do. You left. Not by choice, but by fate. Not a peaceful death. But a painful train wreck of a death. If I could... I would take back every, "I hate you" and every unspoken word.

But now that your gone I have to learn how to live without you in my life. Every memory will be washed away but never forgotten. Never would I regret the love we shared, or the love we made. Now that your gone I have to mend every broken piece of my heart that was shattered with your disappearance. Like you were just dust in the wind, swept away with the tragic fate of life. My life, my heart will never be the same. So this is goodbye to you, to our love. Never forgotten but never the same. But this is me. Not you, this is me... Without you.