✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

116. Childish Thoughts

Tess was soon getting carried away playing with her toys again. Spike knelt down on the floor beside her, and she showed him what she was playing with. She found herself coming up with stories about all the dolls; who they were, and how they felt about each other. She didn't think about any of it in advance, but the more she said the more ideas she came up with, and she wanted to share all of them with her Daddy.

She might have told him the same story more than once, or different stories about the same dolls. She wasn't sure; she couldn't remember that long. But she knew that she was having fun, and she didn't think back far enough for any other options to cross her mind. But after a while, she started to feel tired. Like playing with these toys wasn't as fun anymore, and she no longer felt so enthusiastic about playing.

"You want something more fun?" he asked, and she nodded eagerly, all the life coming back into her expression. "How about we watch some cartoons, eh? Hop up here and I'll show you one of my favourites from when I was as little as you."

Tess was excited by that. She wanted to learn more about what Spike liked, and she knew she would be happy doing anything, so long as they were doing it together. So she scrambled up onto the couch beside him, and rested her head on his chest. Spike worked the remote with one hand, while the other was stroking Tess's hair, helping her to feel so comfortable and loved. And then the cartoon started.

It wasn't computer generated, which was a bit of a surprise. The animation looked like a collection of hand-drawn frames, like something out of the last century. And the voices all had local accents, so far as Tess could tell. Maybe not from this immediate area, but she was sure that it was a domestic production, and almost certainly from a company in the same region. That would explain why she hadn't heard of it; Tess had been travelling all over the world with her parents, and she hadn't been around here until the year before. She wouldn't think about any of that until later; right now her thoughts were locked down to just simple things that a little kid might understand. But she found that she could just about think clearly enough to understand the dilemma of the green and pink cats on the screen.

It was just a little bit of fun. She could enjoy watching it, without the need to overthink it. And she really liked feeling Spike's hand; ever present and comforting. When she was able to analyse her emotions later, she would be surprised by just how good it felt to have that single touch. She didn't need a kiss, or an embrace. All that mattered was the simple fact that he was there for her. Maybe she was starting to understand why all her friends were so hands-on when they were dating someone. She would be as happy to feel him stroking her hair, or holding her hand, or just sitting on a bench close enough to touch. Maybe just a subconscious reminder that this was real. And that feeling didn't require any kind of adult thoughts to make it matter.

The cartoon ended up including two short stories, which might have shared some kind of theme if Tess had been thinking hard enough to follow it, with a little segment in between where the snake was asking all the boys and girls out there to help him count some carrots. Tess wasn't quite sure why a snake needed carrots, or how to count them, but she did her best to help out when Spike asked whether she could do it. She wanted to show him what a big girl she could be, even when she was being little. She might not have been able to remember all the numbers, but as soon as the snake counted each one she was shouting it out right beside him, and she thought that was the next best thing. She only needed a tiny reminder, and then she could get the right answer almost all by herself.

She cheered and clapped when Spike told her what a clever girl she was, and felt on top of the world for a moment. But as the story continued, she still couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. She did her best to ignore it, because she needed to have fun for her Daddy. That little discomfort was probably just because she was doing a new thing; nervous about things that didn't even matter.