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Thread about Barry bcs yes <3

Thread about Barry:
Tw: mentions of s*cide PTSD
SPOILERS FOR S1 (I'm not all the way through it so shh)

although they're many issues with Barry
ranging from his people pleasing, to the
outbursts, and spiraling he frequently
tries to distance himself and his ptsd
makes it hard for him to have
relationships from all the guilt and how
the empty feeling consumes him whole
until he's nothing but an empty shell of
himself the way he clings to others
hoping it would make the feeling go away
the emptiness the longing of someone he
can't have and how he finds it hard to
keep relationships
He just wants to be a good person
and break away from his past start a
new life but whatever he does it'll always
haunt him it's a piece of him that will rot
inside him forever he is rotting a man
stuck in a little bubble of himself.

He can never get away from his old life
because he's constantly pulled back it's
ruins everything and in return it ruins him
it ruined him and now he must spiral destroy all that is good in his life because
that's all he knows
all he knows is death and murder. He's literally convinced himself maybe
that's all he's good at killing he'll never be
a good person he's just a killer not a
person. Also the way he literally drops everything for Sally Reed though they sort of talked a little bit slept together once fought and didn't talk until this bitch got the role she wanted while saying how while he was sobbing breaking down and "acting" how he needs to go back into that. Not even checking up on him realizing hey maybe he's not acting. Constantly letting her get away with shit, treating people horribly. Manipulating others to get her role as an actress and forcing him to do her bidding. Literally constantly crying to him about shit and being like "oh I'll never be good enough 🥺 I'll never be a star blah blah blah." Barry come comfort me Barry let's do my play stuff even though I know you're busy and I won't let you leave or do anything besides pay attention to me.
He's like "I Know There's More To Me
Than That, But Maybe, I Don't Know,
Maybe There's Not - Maybe This Is All I'm
Good At."
he's like well my soul is fucked because
was ordered to kill someone and I did it."
Tw: mentions of s*cide
He was yelling about the morality of
murder and How there's no hope for him
and he should just go his blow his brains
out right?!
But he's very unnerving and like the way
he comforts people is a lil creepy.
No wonder this mf keeps snapping and throwing and punching shit because he lets people walk all over him. I was so happy when he punched Fuches istg.
SPOILERS
He literally broke down because he killed his former friend, and felt so guilty and was thinking about how his wife would react and their child.  He had no choice but to kill him so that he wouldn't go to the cops with what they did. He never wanted to kill him.