ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴏɴᴄᴇ | ᴷ.ˢᴺ

✉︎ ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ #1 ✉︎

Dear Kim Sunoo,

It's been so long, hasn't it?

We used to laugh so effortlessly, and every moment together felt like a shared secret. I thought that friendship would last forever, like something untouchable. But here I am, alone, still holding onto the remnants of something we once had.

You were my anchor in a world full of chaos, the one who understood me without needing words. But somewhere along the way, the bond began to fray, leaving nothing but memories of what could've been. It's not just the friendship that slipped away, but the promise we made to always be there for each other, no matter what life threw at us.

I sometimes wonder what really happened to make you so tired of me.

Do you remember the days when we would run home after school every time it rained, avoiding the bus, ignoring our parents' calls? We'd end up soaked, looking like we'd jumped into a pool even though the rain was barely a drizzle. But we didn't mind. We took our time, savoring those moments.

It's raining today. Actually, it's still pouring as I write this, and you know what it reminded me of?

Us.

My mom asked me to bring the drying clothes in because of the rain. As soon as I stepped outside, it felt like I was walking right back into a memory of you and me.

When we used to slip out into my backyard during storms, knowing we'd be scolded later, but not caring. We'd laugh and dance around, letting the cold rain drench us while we felt alive.

I miss it.

I think its safe to say that I miss everything about us.

Three years have passed. Three long years, and I'm still here, stuck in the same moment. You'd think I'd have moved on by now, but can you really blame me?

Every day, every second, it's like I'm reliving the same memory.

I'd be lying if i said that things aren't any better, because they are. In other occasions that didnt relate to the subject of you.

But at this point, everything seems to circle back to you. Back to when we able to read each other's minds so easily. When we used to read each other like an open book and knew the other better then themself.

What ifs and What could have been.

I remember when you asked me what power I'd choose if I could have anything. I said I wanted to know the future. I don't feel that way anymore.

Back then, we had our whole lives ahead of us, filled with possibilities. We had the time to clear our heads and focus on things we want to achieve in life.

Back then, the future felt like a dream. Now it was a a never-ending nightmare in which I'm afraid that i will never escape from.

The last few years have been a paradox—everything has stayed the same, but so much has changed. Especially for me.

I've seen you on TV a lot lately. You're becoming more popular, and honestly, I'm proud of you.

It might surprise you, but I really am happy for you. You're living the dream we both worked so hard for.

I don't regret being the one left behind.

Because just the thought of you going through any sort of pain pulls me to another set of void. As long as you're okay, that's all that matters.

Even though you've hurt me, I can't seem to hate you.

I love you too much for that.

It sounds so cheesy, but it's true.

Forever your nobody,
Choi Jiwon 

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