Unexpected (Ace Frehley)

sorry

Okay, keep yourself together. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Feels nice. On day one. He can be here today, tomorrow or the days after that.

Short to say, day one was hell. I don't know why i get so nervous but i just can't take seeing him, even tho i want it so dahm bad.

Day two didn't go any better and neither did day three.

Day four. I lay on the coutch with a bottle of vodka, trying to calm the nerves. It helps. Take a deep breath in, take a deep breath out when, there's a knock on the door. Breath in, breath out. My body shaking as i open the door. Met with Ace. I step aside, letting him in, both not saying anything. He walks to the bedroom. "You're really going". He says softly. In my mind i scoff. I don't know what he means with that but he's the one that left. He starts going particully thro his dresser and pulls out a notebook. "You really didn't go into my stuff". "No, that's yours so..". He puts some things in an empty box and closes it, moving onto the kitchen and livingroom. Stopping at the records. Taking only eight of them. "You can keep the rest if you want". I turn to grab something from the cabinet when i see his mug. The special one, he just always had to drink chocolate milk from. I turn around handing it to him. "No way you still got that". A smile spreads on his face and despite all the feelings going thro my body, i do to. "It just didn't taste the same without that cup, you know". I let out a laugh, as he puts it in the box. As much as i want to forgive him, he'll have to come to me and right now he doesn't even seem like he needs me. That hurts. I've known him for now about a year and that's not to long, but enough to know i really did love him and still do. Leaving the appartment is like giving up on us, but we've already done that. God, i miss him, i miss everything about him. How he laughed at his stupid jokes, how his eyes looked when he looked into mine, how we use to make fun of Alex and Steven, knowing we wanted that with eachother. I sigh, loud enough for him to hear, unfortunatly. "What is it?" I shrug. "Nothing". He raises an eyebrow at me. "Yeah sure, i've known you longer than today". I avoid his eyes, asking what i've always wanted to ask. "Why'd you do it". The silence growing incredebly loud. I look back into his now glassy eyes. "I- i don't know". Really, that all. Not an 'i was drunk'. "There must be some reason. Didn't you think about me?" My voice getting more highpitched as i feel tears forming in my eyes. Nothing. No awnser. No explanation. Nothing. "Take your stuff and get out". As much as miss him. I didn't do him wrong in that and i shouldn't be the one apoligising. I shut the bedroom door behing me and lay down on the bed, quietly sobbing into the pillow.

Fifteen minutes pass and the front door still hasn't opened. I don't want to break down again. I do want him. I don't want to let him walk out again. I do want to keep out of fights with myself. I look over to the nightstand. Okay, heads or tails. If it's head, i'll go back to him. I take a shaky breath. Okay, i flip it, landing on heads. Dammit. My body aches as i open the door. "Ace?" Oh, he is gone, i just didn't hear it. Fuck, i just let him walk out again. A tear drops down my cheeck again, partly because of missing him and partly because of exhaustion. Is it really that hard. I squeeze my eyes shut and fall back on the couch. Why do i still have the same problem of talking to him? Does he have that with me too? Have we learned nothing from the pass? Or does he just not love me anymore. I can't blame him, maybe he found someone else.

"Alex, why do you want me to meet you there, can't i just pick you up?" My head is filled with so many questions. Alex wants me to meet her in a bar at table 7. I can't pick her up. I can't ask any questions. I just have to be there in thirty minutes.

I make my way to the bar. "Hey, can i help you?" A waitress asks me sweetly. "Do you know where table 7 is?" "Yes i'll show you, can i get you something?" "Just a cocktail please". I'm exhausted and i feel it again. Why is it always that i'm happy for a period of time and i fall back of the road. "I'll show you to your table". She gives me the cocktail and takes me thro the crowd to table seven. Guess who's sitting there. How did Alex manage to get him here. It has been a week and here he is sitting, drinking a beer while looking around, but he looks different, almost stoned or high. I sit down next to him and he looks at me amazed. "Well Ace". "Did Steven also call you?" "Alex". I put my head in my hands. How am i going to formulate this. There are so many questions i want to ask him. I love him and i want to forgive him. For two months the only thing he had to do was a simple sorry and i would've come crawling back to him, on my knees if i had to. I sigh, as he begins to speak, to my suprise. "I'm sorry, i am. I regret it every day and i wonder why i did it. The worst part is that it wasn't the first time either. I am so sorry for what i've put you through and if you don't want to talk to me ever again, i understand, but know that i'm sorry". His voice filled with guilt. What. He did it multiple times. Well how could i not expect when i date a rockstar. I look up to see him looking at the ground, avoiding my eyes. "You know, it's been almost two months and you don't know how it's been killing me. I just wanted to hear a simple sorry from you and i know i haven't been the easiest either. I still want you, even tho we always end up fucking things up, i still always come back to you". Fine i said it, but it's not the only thing i want to say. "Can we try again?" A smile forms on his face as he embraces me in a hug. I missed this, more than anything. It's been killing me how i was to stubborn with myself. I close my eyes, feeling him next to me. Finally.