OK let's just put it this way... I Am FAMOUS. More like the most famous celebrity currently in the world, ok no, in Nigeria, just Nigeria but some people know me worldwide too, I guess!!!.
I won the most popular reality show in Nigeria (The Big Brother Naija Show) and I came out of the big brother house stunning the whole world with my fame and riches, ok no..... stunning the whole Nigeria with my fame and riches. I am a brand ambassador for so many brands and I have many social media endorsements. I have 2 cars, a house, 2 dogs, many clothes, many shoes, many jewelries and many more. Sincerly I love everything about my life apart from the stupid name my parents gave me. Like how would someone even bare Chinyere Bridaka Laurene as a name...does it even make any sense??? Well I couldn't spoil my famous reputation by bearing such a name so I changed my name Chi, I know the name doesn't still make any sense but it sounds better in my head. Like I said before, i love my life but my life is crumbling.... I am loosing all my social media endorsement which is making me broke as fuck. I can't let that happen though because if i ever get poor I'm surely going to commit suicide. Like, I am too famous to be poor!.
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" I have lost another endorsement and It's been giving me sleepless nights." I said to my junior sister Dami as she gave me a cup of tea and some slices of bread for breakfast.
"Why?" she asked like she wasn't even interested in the conversation at all
"Come on Dami, don't you know that if I keep loosing endorsements, I am most likely to become poor before the year runs out?"
She looks at me ridiculously like she didn't understand a single word from what I just said and all of a sudden she burst into laughter which makes me regret ever telling her my predicament.
After 30 seconds of laughing, she looks at me and says
" sis the truth is that you have always been poor".
" and what do you mean by that?" I asked her looking at her with so much hate for her and everything about her.
She looks at me ridiculously again and bursts into another segment of laughter, the laughing went on for a very long time, that I became extremely angry.
" why the hell are you laughing, apparently i am the richest and most famous celebrity currently in Nigeria with over 2 million followers on Instagram, 1 million followers on tiktok and 430 thousand followers on twitter. I won the BBN show and I still beat all my competitors when I got out of the house. The only problem I am now having is the way my account balance is seriously declining and I decide to share that problem with my you but all I get is you laughing at me?, what kind of a sister are you ?" I said boiling in rage.
"The kind of sister that always tells you the truth. My dear sister why the hell do you keep deceiving yourself." She said to me being serious for the first time since we started our conversation. " you never won the BBN show, you never even got to the top ten, you got disqualified at the third week of your entry and here you keep bragging about winning a show that you failed completely, or did you organize a part two of the show in your room? Because that is likely the one you won"
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OK, I lied..... I didn't really win the show like I told you guys, infact I got disqualified at my third week in the show and I didn't even benefit one dime from that show because the rules were: once u get disqualified, you leave everything you've ever earned from the show , pack you bags and leave empty handedly. But in my case, I was lucky to have a strong supportive fanbase who opened a Go Fund Me account for me where I actually recovered everything I lost from the show, not really everything, but some of it, I guess!
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Now Dami just kept talking like a radio set whose volume was increased to the loudest
"and did I hear you say you have 2 million followers on Instagram, 1 million followers on tiktok and 430 thousand followers on twitter? are you sure you are not crazy??? Because the last time I checked, you have only one million followers on Instagram, 300 thousand followers on tiktok and you don't even have a twitter account. You ain't even verified in any of your social media handles so what exactly makes you think that you are famous."
Now I realize that dami wasn't backing down in making me feel like an upcoming celebrity but am letting that happen because I know how famous I am both inside and outside Nigeria.
" though I didn't win the show, I have the strongest fanbase ever in the history of the show, they even openned a Go Fund Me account for me and that is why is am where i am today." I said to Dami, not letting her run her mouth at me.
" you are indeed crazy" she said to me finishing up her tea.
"Who is crazy" I asked her. at this point I was ready to give Dami a dirty slap.
"You are. Do u think everyone there you call your fans will still love you when they realize that all you've ever told them were lies?, you flaunt two cars to the public when you don't even have a bicycle, you brag about having a house when we are living in a rented apartment, and the dogs we have, it is better to have no dog at all that to have that trash. But as if that is not enough you still waste the little money you get to change your wardrobe to cloths and jewelries you can't even afford. If only you aren't living way above your league then maybe we would have a better life. I always have to lie to my friends that I am living flamboyantly just to save your stupid reputation when in reality, we don't even have a dime. And why is that so?? because we have to spend every single money we can get to buy expensive clothes and jewelries just for show off. To be sincere, I hate this life and I hate you even more for putting me into it" Dami yelled as she stumped out of the dinning room.
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Sincerely guys, I hate this life too. Dami and I has been through a lot and I thought having this life would change things for us in a good way but instead the reverse has been the case. I never thought being famous would turn out like this, but what can I say, I was already into it, and there was no going back.
Guys this is the first ever book I am writing on this app, pls make sure to comment what you think about it😊
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FAKEMOUS
HumorChi is a reality TV show celebrity who flaunts fake luxuries just to keep her fame going. she gets exposed and tries to build up her reputation again through different hilarious ways.
