^^my age when I wrote this
Desperation
Desperate for attention but
Afraid of getting it
Look in the mirror
"Who is that"
No one
It's like watching a movie
I'm a character
A side character
Waiting
For what?
(Still tryna figure that out)
Am I annoying?
I'm a coward
Afraid to text first
Afraid of making new friends
Afraid of myself
Afraid
I'm falling into
A deep deep hole
Can't get out alone
But
If someone tries to help me
I hide
Hide from them
Smile
A grin that is not my own
"Yeah I'm good hbu :)"
"Lol doin fine, whatcha been up to"
Nothing
I do nothing
I sit here and
Rot
In front of this screen
But
I can't pull away
Desperate for a relationship
Afraid of physical contact
Affection
I want it
But
I don't think
I can give it back
Maybe
Maybe I can
But
I'd seem like a weirdo
Clingy.
Relationships?
Not worth it
But I am
Because Im a narcissist
A loser
The best there ever was
So I'll just
Float back up out of
The deep pit I'd
Dug myself into
No help required because
I can do it
All by myself
(I hope)
Sometimes I look back on this and wish I could tell my younger self that they'd be ok eventually.
