Finally I had came this far, a point where I was independent enough to learn new things on my own, a point where I was going to start my own life with my own hands, it's like they always say and how I always believed in it " the future is in your hands, no one is coming to save you" finally I was at that point of starting to build that flawless universe for myself by myself though I had no idea what it took or how much effort and struggles I had to face to work it out, I still had a hopeless excitement of just being there. Days past, weeks past , months past still I was looking for that happiness I had hoped for since I was young, I found myself sinking however in an unbalanced ship of holding on to where I was going or returning back to where I came from, how my heart was shattered in all the days, how I couldn't manage the loneliness that came in waves, how the the hearts of Firestones kept revisiting me time and again, I was suffocating, I couldn't entirely breath normally, I looked in the mirror and all I could see was a hopeless girl that was in a war of fighting her agency a girl that was fighting for her authority , I couldn't think of anything further than to surrender as the battle was stronger than the resources I had, I was weak, I was defeated and I was armed by waves of depression on anxiety, all I had left were oceans of a totured soul in the sparkling eyes, it was heavy , it was heartbreaking and most likely to be slowly taking my soul away from my body. I didn't just loose what I had but I lost also lost myself.
