NAMES

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

We have about 80 years. That's it. I'm 34. I've had more than enough of the tedium. I've given all I have to a lost cause. I won't do it anymore. I can't. It's an absolute waste of time. Half of every day is lost at a job I've never once enjoyed. Not for a minute. I was 17 and it made sense at the time. I didn't even make the damn decision. I told my advisor I liked a sociology course I'd taken and walked out of her office 15 minutes later an elementary education major. It's been about what I'd expected. I don't regret it, I did what I thought was best with the information I had at the time. I was the first and last of my family- mom and dad, two brothers and two sisters- to graduate from college. I was proud of myself. I still am. And now I have a nice life. Things are good. I'm healthy. I live in a great city, close friends, decent pay, OK hours, but every second at work has always been spent dreaming of a way out. Again, no regrets, but if I don't do this, knowing what I know, if I piss away the next 10 years like I squandered the last, if I misuse another year, or even another day, doing what I'm doing, I'll deserve every bit of misery I experience in realizing I've thrown it all away.

I want to live.

I want to make the most out of life.

I'm a musician, a songwriter, not a teacher, not a principal.

Music. That's what I enjoy completely, what excites me more than anything, what makes me feel like I'm spending my time exactly how it was meant to be spent. It's always been this way, ever since I picked up a guitar as a kid. I think about music, music in general, but particularly my songs, all the time, everywhere. It's what I've always wanted to do, it's what I'm good at, and all my most cherished memories and beloved relationships have come about or blossomed in some meaningful way because of music. I've done a fair amount of traveling, but not nearly enough, and not under conditions like these. I want to be able to pick up my guitar and play whenever I want, write music every day, feel what it's like to not only play for myself- to feel the enlivening vibration of the guitar on my chest and hear my voice fill a room, the pure elation of experiencing something beautiful made from thin air, a gift, what once was nothing more than an idea, a thought, a melody, a word, a chord, a note, a hum, an imprint, bringing that idea to life, giving it a name- but to play for others so that they can feel it too and make of it whatever they wish. I want to wake up and not know where I am, not because I'm hammered or fucked up or something, I don't give a shit about that, I'm trying to extend my life for as long as possible and live it as completely as possible, not ruin it, I just mean that I want to do something different from what I've been told I should do, what I've told myself I should do, and what almost everyone else does just because that's the way it's always been. I've written hundreds of great rock songs, very few people have ever heard them, but the last twelve I've written are the best I've ever done so I'm taking them on the road.

I've resigned from my position as principal at Merion Elementary School, and have withdrawn my entire retirement benefit, $62,288 after taxes, and I'll use it to stay afloat as long as possible. I have a house and a mortgage that I'll keep, but no other debt. One way or the other I need something to come back to.

I've been in bands since I was a kid and none of them went anywhere. I've been in the same band, The Blooms, since I was 22. We developed a small following early on, mostly on campus at Temple, but it didn't last. We graduated, got day jobs, and that was about it. For the last 6 years we've been playing every Thursday night in my buddy Al's disgusting basement.

I kept it as simple as possible and recorded all 12 songs in my living room studio. The entire process took less than a month. I had two mikes- an SM57 and a Neumann condenser- and for every song I recorded guitar and vocals simultaneously, no overdubs. I used a Martin acoustic on 7 tracks and a Telecaster on the rest. My friend Al and I produced it, and the final product is phenomenal, dynamic as hell and as memorable and fun as anything I've heard, I couldn't be happier. I called it NAMES, pressed 500 records with unique art for each album cover, and also made it available on all major streaming services. I spent a few days reaching out to various media outlets- online newsmagazines, music blogs, radio stations, local and national papers- as well as former colleagues, record labels, and talent agencies, pitching NAMES as Buddy Holly meets The Ramones out in the woods, but not one person replied so I said fuck it. I'm not going to wait around for someone I don't even know to approve of me, or my music, while I could be out there actually playing for people dying to find something they love.