One more time

Chapter 1

NASA restaurant ako kasama ang mga kabatch ko sa Marketing Department, nag c-celebrate kami after ng graduation namin. Naka-ilang glass of beer na rin ako, I didn't want to get wasted pero pinilit akong painumin ng mga kasama ko.

This is supposed to be a happy day. I am supposedly celebrating for graduating right now, but how come the day was ended with my broken heart? I shouldn't have followed him when I saw him leaving to smoke a cigarette. 

"You want to smoke?" Ngiting tanong ni Dionne nang makitang papalapit ako sa kaniya.

Nakasandal siya sa pader while smoking, and he couldn't help but to stare at him in awe. Dionne is a heartthrob ever since they're in high school. He's tall, has a perfect jaw line, handsome, has a broad shoulder, a mascular body, and a voice as sweet as a chocolate. He's like a prince that only exist in a fairytale, hindi ako makapaniwala na nag eexist ang isang tulad niya at kaibigan ko siya.

"No. Thanks," sagot ko.

"Here."

"Hm? What's this?" tanong ko.

May inabot siya sa aking paper bag, and inside the paper bag is a fancy box. When I opened the box, I saw an expensive watch. It's the one I wanted to buy but I couldn't because of my salary, kaya I decided na mag ipon na lang para mabili ko 'yon.

"I saw your eyes sparkling while staring at it before," natatawang litanya niya. "Happy birthday, Byul."

Hindi ko napigilan ang mapangiti. Lagi ko nakakalimutan ang birthday ko pero nandiyan si Dionne para ipaalala sa akin iyon by giving me a gifts, he never missed my birthday.

"Don't tell me nakalimutan mo na naman?"

"Nandiyan ka naman to remind me eh."

"Pfft! Lagi mo nakakalimutan birthday mo pero ang birthday ko, hindi mo nakakalimutan. Ikaw lagi ang unang bumabati sa akin tuwing birthday ko."

That's how much I love him. The truth is…I wanted to buy the watch for him. He has a hobby of collecting a watch, may sarili pa siyang room para doon ilagay lahat ng nakolekta niyang relos.

Huminga ako ng malalim at sumandal rin sa pader, magkaharapan kaming dalawa. I just watch him smoke a cigarette, habang siya naman ay nasa mga bituin ang paningin at matamis na nakangiti.

"Mukhang good mood ka yata ah?" Hindi ko napigilan na mapangiti rin, masaya ako na makita siyang masaya.

"You know, this may sound cringey but I am only starting to realized how much it feels good falling in love."

Bakas ang sobrang saya sa mukha nito. As if he had fallen in love. Marami nang naging girlfriend si Dionne, marami nang dumaan na babae sa kaniya pero wala pa ni isa sa kanilang nakabihag sa puso niya. He knows him better than anyone. In the back of his gentle face and a sweet smile, hides a terrible personality. Mabilis siya mawalan ng pasensya, he often uses flowery words but there's a hidden sarcasm in it, kung minsan ay napapaaway siya at napapadala ang kaniyang kaaway sa hospital but they kept quiet because of his family wealth. Dahil sa personalidad nito ay hindi sa kaniya nakakatagal ang mga babae.

"Hm? Why? May nakabihag na ba sa puso mo?" natatawa na tanong ko.

As if.

"Yes, I'm in love."

Natigilan ako sa narinig na sagot sa kaniya, inaasahan ko na tawa ang magiging respond niya pero hindi iyon ang nangyari. Sa halip ay nakita ko ang expression nito na never ko pa nakita sa kaniya dati. It is an expression of a person who's in love.

"Haha! You're kidding me, right?"

Sa tinagal-tagal ng pagsasama naming dalawa ay ngayon ko lang iyon nakita, he never show that expression to me!

"I'm serious." Tugon niya, nawala ang kaniyang paningin sa langit at seryosong binaling ang paningin sa akin. "In fact, we're going out. I'm in a serious relationship with her. I've never felt this way, it was the most wonderful feeling. She's The most beautiful girl I've ever seen, she accepted me for who I am and loves me unconditionally."

"W-What?"

B-But I am the first one who accepted you, I am the first one who loves you unconditionally! How could you not see me for all those years I've spent with you?!

"You are the first one I spoke to about this because you're important to me."

Important? Bullshit, if I'm important to you then why do you have someone else? If I am important to you then how could you not see how much I like you?

"B-Bakit ngayon mo lang sa akin 'to sinabi?" 

"Hm? Are you mad?" he laughed.

"Stop laughing!" Natigil siya sa pagtawa nang galit at malakas akong nagsalita.

"What? Galit ka nga. C'mon, tol. Hindi naman lahat ay dapat ko pa sa'yong sabihin."

"Who did you fall in love with?"

I bit my lower lips to calm myself down, but it didn't help me. I know na darating ang araw na'to, darating ang araw na mai-in love rin siya and I prepare myself for that moment but it still hurts me. I didn't expect it to happen now. I'm frustrated and it pains me like a thousand cuts. I'm with him throughout the years pero wala man lang siya sa akin sinasabi, hindi ko man lang alam kung sinong babae ang nakabihag sa matagal ko nang inaasam.

"Hm? Oh…." Awkward na ngumiti siya at umiwas ng tingin sa akin. "It's Bella, your older sister."

I can't believe it. Why did it have to be my sister? As if it's not enough.

"Hey, say something. Are you mad because I fall in love with your sister? I'm sorry, I couldn't help it."

"W-What?"

"C'mon! You should congratulate me, bastard." He laughed again and was about to walk towards me but I blurted out the forbidden words that made him stiffen.

"I like you!"

"Pfft! That was a funny joke!" Humagalpak siya ng tawa as if nakarinig siya ng nakakatawang joke. "Hm? Are you crying right now?" Natigil lang siya sa pagtawa nang makita ako.

13 years. I tried my best to shut my mouth for 13 years. But maybe because of the alcohol that got into my head, all the thoughts that I hid started to take their way out.

"I've been in love with you since we're little, but you never look my way! How can love be so good for you when it has been painful for me?! Falling in love with you made me break into pieces, so how am I supposed to be happy for you?! How can I congratulate you when I am hurting like this?!"

"W-What? Are you serious?" he asked in disbelief.

"I-I really like you so much."

I pursed my lips and clenched my fist, namagitan sa aming dalawa ang ilang segundo na katahimikan. Dionne was silent and still in shock, then after that his shocked turned into disgusted expression.

"I didn't know you felt that way to me."

Bumaba ang aking paningin sa lupa, 'tsaka lang ako nabalik sa ulirat. I got sober because of what I saw in his expression.

"Your confession sickens me, I'm not into men so why did you even have to confessed? Aren't you thinking about our friendship? You should've stayed silent. Seriously." Ang lamig ng boses nito at ang cold rin ng expression niya, may kasamang pandidiri ang kaniyang tingin sa akin.

"S-Sor––"

"Forget it, you disgust me."

Tinalikuran na niya ako at naglakad na siya papalayo, habang ako ay naiwan at tulala sa mga nangyari. Mga ilang minuto akong tulala, para nakapako ang paa ko sa lupa. Hanggang sa hindi ko na napigilan at tuluyan nang bumuhos ang pinipigilan kong luha, kasabay ng pagbuhos ng ulan na tila ba'y dinadamayan ako.

"What am I supposed to do?" Natakpan ko ang aking mukha at kahit anong pagpunas ko sa aking mga luha ay parang host iyon na patuloy ang pag-agos.

I made you my world. And now, I can feel my world falling apart. I've loved you so much, which I shouldn't have. I regret falling in love with him. I regret confessing. I regret making him my world. I regret everything. I wasted my time with him, I wasted it in an unrequited love.

"I wish I could turn back time…"

TO BE CONTINUED!