Chapter 9

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Cloey

I know one mistake he's referring to, the mistake that causes him not to hate me right now. The day before he walked out of my life, I was heading to tell him I was pregnant. I didn't look forward to it because I feared his reaction. I counted myself lucky to have had him this long. By most accounts, he never dated a girl longer than two weeks. We'd been meeting up for several months. I didn't have to worry about telling him the news, however. When I found him, he was in a compromising position with not one but two girls from town. I knew both girls well. Their reputation for a good time preceded even mine. In Dice's defense, he'd been drunk off his ass after a late night of drinking with the rest of his unit. The only one missing from the drink-fest had been Bear, who had refused to leave Ayasha's side.

When I'd walked in that night, the guys had warned me not to go into the back of the small bar. But I hadn't listened. I can still remember the contented look on Dice's face while the two naked women stood over his half-naked body. Picking a stick off a nearby pool table, I ran the girls off, only to have Dice grab me from behind in hopes of getting lucky. I'd socked him instead and knocked him out. When Red came running at the sound of me screaming obscenities, he'd looked at the scene in front of him with a dumbfounded look on his face before putting his hands up in surrender. Looking back, the whole situation could have been dubbed comical. But at the time, I'd been heartbroken, feeding off pregnancy hormones, and embarrassed at myself. I had no claim on him. We'd just been friends with benefits, and that was the kicker. That night, I realized I'd fallen in love with him.

I threw his departure at him because I was angry that he was throwing all the blame on me, but I secretly know why he did what he did. I understand why he left. His father runs around the ladies like a rampant dog in heat. Most would be surprised to know the secrets that politics often covers up. It's why Dice's mother had an affair with an opposing political candidate. She thought getting back at him was the answer, only to find out the kind of power her husband holds the hard way. Dice once let it slip that it was the only time his father had laid a hand on his mother, and he ensured she would never forget it. To her satisfaction, though, she still won in her own right when she found out she was pregnant with a son. Every time Dice walks into a room, his old man only has to look at him to be reminded of his less-than-stellar behavior. It all comes down to one conclusion. Dice walked away because he didn't want to be like his father. He's determined he's not the settling down kind of guy. But in one of Ayasha's emails a few months later, I heard Dice had given up drinking. I got under his skin, and I know it.

Now, I find myself in my living room staring down at a team of men who look ready to lob my head off—and a cousin to boot. I should have told Ayasha, but I knew she would tell Bear, and Bear would tell Dice. It's an ugly cycle.

"What the hell were you thinking? What possessed you to keep this information silent, knowing you were potentially putting your daughter in danger, for God's sake?"

"Bear ..." Ayasha places a hand on her husband's arm. "I'm sure Cloey has a good reason ..."

"No!" His wife doesn't flinch at his outburst. Bear's a natural at being the leader of the five-man crew. Still, his temper isn't the only element contributing to his call sign. He's also one hell of a sniper, and right now, he looks more than capable of placing a bullet right between my eyes.

"I want an answer."

He deserves one. They all do. When you hurt one team member, you hurt them all. Ayasha's lucky she found a man so ferociously protective, but I also have something to protect, and I'm not about to back down. Dice and Ayasha stand on either side of Bear to keep the man calm enough to maintain a reasonable distance. I can tell by the way Dice is staring at me that he wants to come to me, but he's afraid to close the gap after the secret I've revealed. He's hurting, but I'm also hurting. Captain Black leans against a wall on the other side of the room with his arms crossed. I don't let that fact evade me. He's one hell of a captain and knows when to interfere. I turn my attention back to the angry soldier and avoid looking at Dice altogether. I can't handle another look of disappointment from him right now. My hands grow clammy.

Taking a deep breath, I push forward. "I did try to go back once to talk to you."

I look briefly at Dice before confronting his comrade again. "I needed to see him. To deal with the news and talk to someone despite our last run-in." In a bar, no less. "But we both know how that conversation turned out."

"Damn it. This isn't about hurt feelings, Cloey." Bear's voice cuts through my skin like a knife. "He might have walked out of your life, but a child is still a child. You should have told him."

Okay. I've held my temper, but I'm not going to take Bear's crap much longer.

"There's a hidden camera somewhere, isn't there? We're part of a fucked-up sick soap opera and don't know it, right? Like that Jim Carrey movie where he's stuck in a show and doesn't realize his whole life has been a lie. Next, we'll find out everyone we thought was dead is alive, or Cloey will have an evil twin."

"Shut up, Gunner," the men yell out simultaneously.

He shrugs. "No humor got it."

"Despite what you think, I'm not an idiot." No one speaks. No one comes to my aid. Dice remains silent. I feel myself falter. I'm human, after all. When you have five men staring at you like you are the terrorist of the year, it's hard not to feel like you've just been shot by a firing squad. That would be a hell of a lot quicker than their scrutiny.

"When I tried to come clean, I froze up. I wasn't ready." I look at Bear in defiance. "And, yes, I needed that time, damn you. Don't tell me if Ayasha walked out on you, you wouldn't be a total wreck."

Bear's eyes soften marginally. Dice steps forward, but I place a hand in front of me.

"Don't."

"When I finally felt I was ready to come clean, I got sick. Bad sick. I took myself to the hospital, and they admitted me." Within hours, they had a diagnosis." I pause. "They diagnosed me with a condition called Hyperemesis Gravidarum."

I wait for someone in the group to recognize the term, but no one moves. Of course, these men aren't used to terms referring to the female way of life. I didn't even know what it was until the doctor walked in and told me. The illness itself had nearly caused me to pass out, and I would have gladly accepted the blackout after the misery my body had been putting me through. I suddenly feel like I'm suffocating. Sweat breaks out along my neck and down my back. Not now. Black and yellow spots enter my vision. My computer picks that moment to alert me to the Skype call I was expecting. This wasn't how I planned for Dice to meet his daughter, but these men aren't giving me much choice. Glancing anxiously at Dice, I close my eyes and pray before leaning over and punching the button on my computer that will change his life forever. 

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