Different

I wonder what it'd be like to be a cloud, drifting along, minding it's own buisness, not having to worry about daily problems. If only life could be that simple, if only there was such thing as freedom; but the one thing I've noticed is that you're never free. You will always be bound by selfish desires and useless dreams. Sometimes reality is harsh, but that's the way life works.

I was nothing special, I was just like any other kid. I slept, I ate, I breathed, I lived. But, my parents seemed to notice something about me, something that set me apart from other children. While others would play rope with their friends, I would sit in a corner; thinking of things that could only happen in my dreams. While my peers would happily play in the ocean, I would be quite content sitting up on the sand, a notebook and pen in hand, scribbling down anything and everything that popped into my head.

Of course I thought this was normal behaviour. Everyone was different, this is what set me apart. Unfortunately, because of harsh judging of others, saying it wasn't healthy for me to bottle up my feelings like I did. Although, they had no clue that by forcing me to change, they were forcing away my spirit. After my parents gave into the pressure of the world, I was pinned with a Schzoid personality. Something I could not help. Alas, reality is harsh.

After stripping me of my pride I was forced into school once again. I found that I was despised by my classmates, hated for being different. If only they knew that I was a living, breathing, feeling being like they are. But their reaction to my differentionality is to be expected, they learn from their parents, people who seem to shun anyone and anything that is outside of their close minded world. So once again, I found myself sitting in a corner, wondering what it would be like if I was like them. Wondering what it would be like to be under their category of 'normal'.

Time flew by, and soon I was placed in an even bigger environment. There was a small voice in my head, always nagging at me. Never leaving me alone, and it would always be saying the same thing. Over and over. The voice grew as I soon became hated once again, this time on a larger scale. When I walked down the halls the students would stare at me with hatred and disgust. What have I done? I finally let the voice speak, "You're not good enough. They hate you for being you."

A few more years past, nothing around me had changed. I was the only one who'd changed, in fact. The voice just kept getting louder and louder, every morning the voice would repeat the same lines: "Why do you bother? There is nothing of value for you there." So I listened. I would avoid the evil stares that I was given by hiding in a world of magic. A world of adventure and romance, a world where the shy girl would get the guy of everyone's dreams. But I knew the truth, it would never happen in this world. Alas, reality is harsh.

A few more years passed and yet again, nothing had changed. I was held back, once again forced to be looked apon by new sets of eyes. The voice in my head had gotten louder still, it was practicly screaming at me: "Why do you bother? Your own family hates you to, you know. It's because you can't learn as fast, you can't keep up."

The voice and I became good friends. I would sit alone at lunch and chat with it, the only thing I didn't like about it, is that it kept pressuring me. Forcing me to do things I didn't want to do. I started skipped class frequently, and I eventually found myself in the same situation. I was being held back once again. The voice whispered in my head, "It's all your fault."

I soon despised the voice, I found myself being overcome with emotions. Just not my emotions, it was the voices. I soon got a name for the horrid voice, it like to call itself Tim. Tim became horrid, he seemed to take over my being to the point where I couldn't control myself. He was now the owner of my mind, and body

More years passed and everything changed. Tim became evil, he made me do things that were unspeakable. Seemingly, someone had had enough of my odd behaviour, and eventually called in a hospital. Not just any hospital though, it was a special hospital for people like me. Somehow, this made me happy. Maybe people wouldn't judge me there, Maybe I would finally be accepted.

I was wrong, the people seemed nice when they came to fetch me. They swore they would take proper care of me. Liars. They brought me to the clinic, then forced me in a small room with a snobby doctor. He then informed me that I have a split personality, not seeming to care in the slightest. After, I was brought to a room where I was roughly placed in a strange white jacket. They keep telling me that I'd leave soon, that people will come to see if I'm alright soon. The lies haven't changed up to this day.

The birds are so pretty, if only I could hear their sweet songs. If only I could feel the grass between my toes, the sand on my skin. I yearn for the contact of someone other than my daily doctor and maid. Tim is still here, refusing to leave. Every time I wish to go outside he would remind me, "It's all your fault."

And for once, I know that he's telling the truth.

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Wow! This is different. I've never written anything like this before so don't blame me if it's horrible. Anyways Remeber to Comment and fan me :)