Impossible Odds: Rescue Team Nine (Book 3)

Chapter 11

Cloey

"Cloey?"

His voice causes me to pause.

Silence.

Then I scream. I can't help it. I'm so tired of fighting this alone. I'm questioning why I ever did in the first place. It's not fair to me, to him. It's a gut-wrenching scream filled with tears and frustration. My body goes limp, landing the two of us on the floor.

"I can't do it anymore, Dice. I can't. I'm so sorry. I messed up."

I glance up to find him watching me. I expect him to be angry, but I see a different emotion instead: sadness. That hurts worse. Anger I can handle, but sadness cuts through my heart like a knife. He deserves an explanation, even if it's a weak one.

"When you left that day, I felt so empty. I didn't realize how much I loved you until then."

Squirming against him, I wait until he loosens his grip. Pushing away from him, I stand. "I got sick. Bad sick. I thought it was a stomach virus, but it was one of the worst viruses I'd ever had. I took myself to the hospital, and they ended up admitting me. I should have called you then. I should have admitted I was pregnant to you and given you a chance, but I let the hurt and the pain override my common sense. I let it override everything. I thought I was protecting her from having to deal with the same pain you dealt me, so I decided to go at it alone."

I say a quick prayer, quietly, that he will forgive me. I depend on it for his protection and my heart. Sometimes, in a person's life, we have to admit we can't do it alone anymore. This is one of those times.

"Cloey ..."

Holding my hand up, I hush him. "Please, I need to say this."

He nods. Taking a breath, I continue, "Finding out I was pregnant changed everything."

Tears run down my face, and I fight hard to contain the pain my heart is raging against me. "I wanted to call you immediately. Not because I wanted you back but because I needed someone to confide in. And I knew you needed to know you were the father. Grandfather was adamant that I stay quiet, though. He convinced me that you wouldn't care if you found out you were going to be a father. You know how he was after everything happened when my brother died. I guess he wanted the chance to prove he was not a complete failure as a grandparent, so he thought he could help make amends and protect Felicity from being hurt the way he saw me hurt after you left. He convinced me to let my emotions go and be a parent."

A sharp intake of breath is enough to give me the courage to glance up. My body is feeling numb, and for a brief minute, I wonder if it's finally resigning to the stresses it's fought. "I almost lost her. I was so sick, Dice. They kept me for a while."

He takes a step forward. I take a step back. "I lost so much weight that I was afraid I wouldn't have enough to keep us both going. Grandfather found out and had me transported to another hospital a few hours away. Money talks. You know that. He was scared, and so was I. Once we realized the baby would be alright, we devised a plan for school, and I started learning how to be a single mom."

He steps forward again and this time I stay put. Inches separate us, but we don't touch.

"Cloey." There's a pleading look in his eyes.

"She's so beautiful, Dice." I give him a sad smile. "She acts like you, too. She's fearless."

I falter then, but Dice catches me and holds me against him.

"Please don't hate me. Please."

He kisses my forehead, causing me to close my eyes. "Damn it, Cloey. I started it all by walking away that day. If I'd stayed ..."