Rekindled | ✓

Chapter 3. Hey Stranger

🎶 Dil Na Jaaneya (Unplugged)

Published on 25.09.2022

❝ Ye chalti hawayein,
le jaayein kahaan,
ye ik dooje ke.. jaane bina,
kab do dilon ki hui yaariyan,
dil na jaaneya ❞

🥀

Hey Stranger,

Hope you're doing well wherever you're. Whenever I open this diary, I always wonder if you still think about it, this lost diary of yours and if you think it's still lying in that lonely, aloof place or maybe discarded somewhere as trash with it's existence dispersing in thin air. You probably wouldn't have thought that it would be lying safe with an idiot like me. Well, safe might not be the safe word considering I've read everything you'd written in it and have even proceeded to pretend as if the diary actually belongs to me by writing my thoughts and addressing them to you.

I hope you don't mind much. I've already made enough people sad by my stupid decisions; I don't think I can afford more.

I hope you don't miss it, this diary.

I hope she doesn't miss me too, you know whom I'm talking about.

To be brutally honest, a selfish part of me does want her to think of me, miss me, maybe still love me too but that's so wrong, isn't it? I don't deserve even a fraction of any of this.

I'm leaving in a few hours. I'm nervous, extremely nervous. I haven't seen her in more than two and half years. I don't know how she looks. I mean, I could've found it but then, I don't want to appear more creepy than I already have been. Does she still have the same black mid-length hair? Does her eyes still shine the way they used to whenever she looked at me? Does the sun still chooses her like she's his favourite child to cast his light and make her skin glow? I hope he does. He doesn't even have a reason to be envious now since I'm not there to steal and keep her smiles all for myself.

I'm such an idiot to not safeguard those smiles.

She's not going to be the happiest to see me again, I'm sure. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I don't know if things will ever get better. I don't know if I'll ever be on the receiving end of those smiles that used to make my world stop literally. I don't know if you'll ever look at me the way you used to, with so much love, so much warmth.

But..

I miss you. I miss you, Inaaya. Every day, every moment, I miss you. I wish you were here. I wish I fought harder. I wish you held on for a little longer. I hope things would've been different. I still wish there's some hope for us, you know? It's hard to imagine a life without you and it's even harder to live it everyday.

Remember when I had written to you that you remind me of hope? I wasn't lying. And now, since you're gone, it's tough to wake up every morning and go through the day when I've nothing to look forward to and yet somehow I manage to do it. Sorry to say but this diary is partly responsible for it if not more.

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Oh god, I did it again, didn't I?

I'm so sorry.