Wasn't Meant To Be

Chapter 21

Errors Ahead

Still

Himala at nagkusang loob si Cassius na sumabay sa amin ngayong lunch. Alam kong iisipin niyo ang tanga ko kasi last time nag away na kami ni Kyle about Casssius pero di naman ako ganon kabobo, hindi ako papayag sumabay si Cassius if Kyle was here. My boyfriend will be out of sight for the next few days dahil sa student council meetings. There will be an upcoming sports fest and they'll be organizing it.

Walang tigil na paglamon ang ginawa namin sa loob ng trenta minutos kahit si Cassius na may ulcer ay di narin natigil ang subo ng pagkain. Para kaming mga hinahabol ng kung sino man kung kumain at ni isang salita walang maririnig mula sa amin sadyang tuon lang ang pansin sa pagkaing nasa harap. Nawala lang sa pokus si Cassius nang makita niya si Yasmen sa di kalayuan habang abala sa pakikipag usap sa lalaking nasa harap niya.

"Selos oh." Pangaasar ni Pennie. When Cassius came back to his senses and started eating again, halatang nagigigil ito dahil sa kaniyang panga.

"Akala ko ba hindi na si Yasmen?" I asked without any tease.

"Wala eh, malakas tama niya sa akin." Hindi niya magawang tumingin sa amin habang sinasabi ang mga salitang iyon.

I fell silent, bumagsak ang aking mga kulay abong mata sa aking nanunuyong palda. Nakaramdam ulit ako ng biyak sa puso kong di pa nag hihilom. I am guilty, kahit pa I have Kyle this is what I truly feel and I think it just got stronger than before. The reason I like Cassius was because he does not give up on Yasmen, that made me want to be pursued the same as he does to her and now that after years it's still her. It doesn't matter if papatay patay yung feelings na yun as long as in the end you go home to the same person.

A warm tear was forming on my right eye and before it was able to escape pinunasan ko ito patago. Cassius' brown eyes met mine when I lifted my head sabay nito ay ang pagihip ng hangin. That moment I was so sure my eyes spoke all of my soul, I'm so sure he understood what lies beneath these eyes. Umiwas ako ng tingin at lumunok, mabigat na ang nararamdaman ng dibdib ko but I pretended I was alright. I felt Pennie's hand pressing mine, hindi ko siya nilingon at itinuloy na ang pagkain.

Before going home, I decided to talk with Yasmen, I did the same thing once I can do it again. I don't mind what she will think but this is all for Cassius, my most beloved.

"Yasmen, can't you just please try liking him? Please?"

I couldn't help but feel like begging.

"Bakit ba napakahalaga para sayo na maging kami Isla?"

May diin ang kaniyang mga salita at mukhang pinipigilan ang sariling maipakita ang kaniya pagkairita.

"Kasi napapagod nakong makita siyang minamahal ka ng walang kapalit. He's been loving you for so long." Hindi ko na mapigilan ang damdamin at nag iipon muli ang aking mga luha.

"You think he'll be happy being with me kahit fake lang ang ipappakita ko?"

This time she answered with a hint of concern.

"Bakit ikaw? You've been loving him for so long, it's been two years right? Wala ka namang nakukuhang kapalit ah, baklit di ka napapagot?"

She smiled, I can see pity and amazement through those eyes.

"It's not love. I just like him." Pagtatama ko.

"I don't think so, kasi if you just like him bakit ka ganito? Even after knowing na ginagamit ka lang niya dati from some of the close friends na kahit he's a jerk to you and wala kang natatanggap mula sa kaniya na kapalit you have this feeling of obligation to make him happy?"

Kasi I'm scared to admit to myself na mahal ko si Cassius, baka lalo akong mabaliw. Magkaiba pag gusto mo lang at kapag mahal mona. Mas masakit niya siya para sa akin but, at the same time I can endure it hundred times better than before.

"Isla you made reservations for him in your heart, you know that well and you're covering up the truth by being in a relationship with Kyle."

I'm the one who should be convincing Yasmen but she's the one getting through me.

"Bakit di nalang ikaw?" She held my hand and showed a sweet smile.

"Kasi, ikaw eh. It's never going to be me, kahit alam ko I can give every piece of me and expensive gifts it's going to be you. "

That's why I never forced myself to him, I just love him from afar and give service whenever he needs it. My eye twitched, pilit na pinipigilan ang mga luhang naiipon pero di ito nagtagumpay. Hindi ko kinaya ang piga ng puso ko at padahandahang pag hinga. Tuluyang tumulo ang luha ko, pinunasan ko naman kaagad ito at tumawa pero naroon parin ang sakit.

"Like his feelings na hindi mapupwersang ibigay sayo ganon din para sa akin. I'm sorry Isla I will just never like him."

Nagpaalam na si Yasmen sa akin matapos ang usapan na iyon at ako naman naiwang tulala habang nakaupo magisa sa school forest. Naalala ang pagamin sa totoong nararamdaman ng puso sa sarili.

Di namalayan nadumating si Kyle mukhang pagod a bitbit ang kaniyang bag na nakasukbit sa isangbalikat lamang. His eyes had one question, "what's the problem?"Hindi ko siya magawang tingnan ng deretso nahihiya sa aking pagkakamali. He wassupposed to be enough for me. He's perfect but, I could't help it. I just keepon coming back to that jerk! Hindi ko maiwasan ang paggalaw ng butas ng 

Author's Note:

Hay ambot.