Wasn't Meant To Be

Chapter 22

Errors Ahead

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Hindi naging duguan ang breakup namin ni Kyle all he did was comfort me that day. He held me carefully and all I can feel was love yet pain instilled through his deep black eyes. I asked for forgiveness and he asked for distance, he was hurt and I understood the assignment. Even though I wanted to keep the friendship I know it's not going to happen. Kyle still gave me a lift going home and that was the last time he looked me in the eye right before I stepped out of his car.


I stood with my shoulders down, my back arched and my eyes blankly staring onto the clear water from our pool. Mas lutang pako doon sa salbabida sa may gitna ng pool namin, at least siya may laman na hangin ako baka pati kaluluwa lumayas na.

The past days I was often drinking gallons of alcoholic beverages. Baka isipin niyong irresponsible ang mga matatanda sa bahay, nasa ibang bansa lang talaga sila for vacation at tanging si ate Andra lang ang kasama ko at mga katulong namin. I had breakdowns and Pennie helped ate Andra giving me sermons and comforts.

"Hay nako, gaano ba kasi kahirap layuan si Cassius? Also he's been a jerk to you." Lumipad ang palad ni Pennie sa kaniyang noo at umiling iling.

"Nakakailang confession ka nadin Isla 2? 3? Ni hindi niya nga ma adress or mabigyan ng maayos na response yang nararamdaman mo eh!" Dagdag naman ni ate Andra.

Naiirita nako, hindi sa kanila kundi sa sarili ko. What if this is just for the thrill of waiting and the thought of loving someone unconditionally. But that would be stupid, I do not live in a fantasy world. Alam kong hindi ako ganon klase mg tao, mas marami ding gwapo dyan at mas kamahal mahal, but I choose Cassius. Siya ang gusto ko, siya lang.


Sa di kalayuan rinig ko ang patugtog ng music mula sa may sala at hindi man ganon ka accurate ang lyrics, I had connection with a particular verse.


You could break my heart in two
But when it heals it beats for you
I know it's forward but it's true


The difference is that my heart hasn't healed yet form the ignorance and taking of advantage he's done to me. I sighed heavily, I'd really run back to him, I don't think that there would be a day to come where he does not own half of my heart.


My thoughts ran out when I heard a man's voice not so far. Mabilis ako tumayo at inayos ang pagmumukha ko bago paman sumulpot sa harapan ng bisita.


"Oh, hey Bal." I act surprised, I knew it was his voice I heard from the hall.

"Hi, mangangamusta sana tagal mo kasing di nag oonline."


Hindi niya rin siguro ako makita sa school since madalang na akong lumabas ng classroom at maagang nauwi.

"Okay naman ako." Pilit ko itinaas ang mga labi para sa isang matamis na ngiti.


Nag-aya akong umupo sa may pool kung saan malamig at mahangin. I almost offered him liquor pero agad kong naalala kung ano ang laman ng baso.

"Nabalitaan ko nga pala nag hiwalay kayo ni Kyle, sobrang dami ko naririnig nagpaplano man ligaw sayo. " he chuckled na para bang di kapanipaniwala.

"Yeah." Tinatamad kong sagot.


Umupo kami doon ng sampung minuto at sa loob ng mga panahon nayon binalot kami ng katahimikan, we didin't have any eye contact. Hindi ako kinakabahan o ano pero ayaw kong lumingon sa kaniya.


"Bakit?" Bigla nalamang siyang nagtanong.

I looked him in the eye and I'm very sure it shouts his name. "Bakit ako padin? He's a better guy and I'm sure he never treated you bad. I don't get it." Iling iling niya at tumingin sa may pool.

Did Kyle told him the reason of our break up?

"It was Yasmen who told me, sabi niya nung nakaraan nag usap kayo and she knew dahil doon, na you still have feelings for me." Ahhhh si Yasmen naman pala.

I sighed. " I don't know, honestly. When I think about it I don't think I can get over you bal, I just like you that much that I made an exclusive reservation for you in here." I chuckled while pointing my heart, a disappointed chuckle. I bit my lips at mas lalong tumalikod sa kaniya nang maramdamang naiipon ang mga luha. Man I do not want to cry in front of this jerk.


"Please don't reserve it for me, I'm far from worth it. You're amazing, kind, and loving pero I'm just going to hurt you. I don't want that." I felt sincerity, but I was embarrassed because I was rejected AGAIN. There had been many events I was given indirect rejections by him but damn ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang pagod. Nakakapagod pala.


I was about to stand up because of the embarrassment I felt, ngunit dahil sa kamalasan bigla nalamang nandilim ang paningin ko at naramdaman ang panghihina sa mga tuhod. Tuluyan ako nawalan ng malay at tanging pagbagsak sa pool ang huling naramdaman ko.