Through the Icy Depths

The end.

Trigger warnings in description. Please read before proceeding.

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Loki had an ego, we all know that, where everything he said had to be correct when it wasn't a situation he lied in. And yes, he so lies a lot, just because he can. Not to mention his god complex, meaning that he had to rule the entirety of the nine realms, even if it took 'til his last dying breath. But . . . isn't Loki the more introverted type?

The real question is, is Loki really a 'narcissistic ego maniacal evil overlord wannabe' people make him out as? Or is he one of us (as people would say) 'selfish' people, who long to just have someone there to hug, but we fear that they'll hate us. So, we push them away. Push them away, because we want to die, and for when we finally do, they do no longer care for us, and they do no longer become sad, and can live a peaceful carefree life without us.
So the world will no longer care, the universe, the multiverse, knows not our name, and so does not cry over something that should have not been.

Sure, Loki could have already have gone far, and is a madman. Or, he could be a lost soul, pressured by society. A lonely child crying in his bed at night for his mother, who will never come.
~~~~~

Loki slammed his quill down on the desk, and ripped the paper in two, tossing it onto the floor. It had been a few years since his mother's death, yet he couldn't think a thought of her, without a tear falling at best.

The god of stories had been writing about his feelings, in case something were to happen to him. He really couldn't control his feelings anymore, and was scared he might give in, and succumb to ending it all.

Loki had almost gotten there in making no one care for him. He really had. When Thor said those things to him in the elevator, it made him feel really fucking depressed, but at the same time, he was glad. Glad that his plan was working.
Except . . . After helping save the people of Asgard, Loki knew Thor had returned to square one. In fact, deep down, maybe even not that deep, had Thor even left it?

Loki's moment of pondering was abruptly ended when a knock sounded at the door, echoing around the ship's small metallic room. Funny to think that anything outside the ship wouldn't hear the knock's great volume. The wonders of space.

Loki was about to respond with a vocal answer, but the door swung open regardless.
"Oi, Thor said he needs you." The Valkyrie, Loki knows as Brünnhilde but will never mention, said rambunctiously, alcohol in one hand, but not that drunk.

Loki nodded back and quickly exited the room. He tensed up as he passed Brünnhilde, his conscious and subconscious fearing to be punched. He really couldn't help it, so he at least tried to hide it.

Brünnhilde watched as Loki wandered off. She could've sworn she saw him tense up as he passed her, as if expecting something to happen. Was he afraid of her? Oh, how funny would that be.
The Valkyrie looked back toward the room after the god of mischief had long left her view.

She was about to close the door, and be on her way, when she noticed something laying on the floor. Numerous pieces of paper, most scrunched up, one ripped in two.
Upon closer inspection, they had writing on them.

Blackmail material.

She shoved them all into her unnoticeable, yet voluminous pockets for later inspection, and exited.

- - -

Loki stood there, staring on in fear as he boarded the ship. Loki had been found. This was the end. Or perhaps, worse. How he would love it to be the former. But that wasn't possible with the reality stone in his midst.

Everything that was happening, what he was doing had been tuned out. It seems as if Loki had been transported into the deepest depths of his brain now, and adrenaline owned his body.

He had had not an ounce of self-consciousness until he found himself lying on the ground. Unable to breathe, move, or even speak! Everything felt so hot, and it was now so eerily quiet. The only noises he could hear were Thor's sobs, while Loki found himself unable to move his eyes away from the ceiling, as well.
Why was Thor crying? What was so bad that Thor was crying? Loki hadn't even heard him cry once in his life! Out of sadness, that is.

Loki felt himself begin to slip away, and as there was nothing else to do about it, he welcomed the sweet bliss of death.

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But of course, Loki is the deity of stories. He may not realise it yet, but he gets to decide what's fit.
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Loki awoke in seemingly darkness. Everything hurt. Everything hurt so, so, much. The pain was indescribable, apart from that it was nothing as such he suffered on the planet of chitauri.

Loki shook away the traumatising flashbacks, but soon found them to replaced by some other kind, when he found he couldn't talk.

He remembered Odin, that due to his mischievous ways, for his lies, ordering for that Loki's mouth to be sewn shut.

Loki remembered the pain of the needle, every. Single. Time it pierced his juvenile skin.
He screamed louder every time, making the pain worse, and more screaming ensued. A chain reaction of neverending pain and screaming. Nobody coming to help. Because they didn't care for him. He was a tool to end war. Not to be loved. Not to be cared for.
He was a puppet of others, for them to control and do their bidding. He was a ragdoll for them to take their frustration out on.

But in the end, he was always proven useless.
That one boring, ugly doll in the back of the cupboard that was lucky to be played with once or twice. That one with the annoying voice, saying the same thing over and over. The one the mice always bite holes in, that's lucky not to get thrown onto the next bonfire.

Loki tried to look around, but to no avail. It was too dark. At least he was cooler now?
But, Loki soon found that with moving his arms around, he couldn't feel anything. Not a thing. Did he even still have arms?
Maybe he was finally dead? If so, it was a lot lonelier than he expected. Wasn't there supposed to be some sort of light?
He had hoped he'd see Frigga. His mother, one last time-

There was only one word to describe how Loki currently felt.
Scared.
The only thing he could currently do was think, for the rest of his senses had left him.