Something In The Rain

Out In The Open

Once again, I'm back in my fortress of loneliness, it's been a week since I last heard from Taehyung. He left the apartment after telling me to go. I can't be upset with him, no matter how you look at it I was using Taehyung to avoid my reality, without any intention of actually escaping it. I'm in bed when my phone rings, at the same time my doorbell rings repeatedly, and I groan loudly, ignoring my phone to answer the door. My mother is on the other side of the door, surprisingly, no smoke. My mother's appearance surprises me completely, she's wearing giant sunglasses that are taking up her entire face, even though I know for sure it was raining outside, her long hair is pulled back away from her face, and she wears jeans and a hoodie. I can't remember how long it's been since I've seen my mom this casually, she says nothing just steps inside and removes her sunglasses to face me. It's now that I realize why she was wearing them, her eyes were red-rimmed like she's been crying for years, she was completely bare-faced, with not a drop of makeup on her face, and her lips are pressed into a hard thin line. I can't meet her eyes, I stare at my feet, pressing my fingers into fists, anticipating what she would do. Punch, kick, scream, all were possibilities, the building tension made it harder to breathe the longer we stood in silence. A loud clap of thunder sounds outside my window, and I hear the heavy rain come down hard over our heads. "Soni," my mother starts, taking a step toward me, her voice coming out soft and tired. When I meet her eyes she's not looking at me, she stares down at her hands that are wrung together in front of her. I have never seen my mother like this, and I don't know how to react. Suddenly she takes two quick steps toward me and wraps her arms around my body, pulling me into her slender frame. 

This was the very last thing I expected from her, my mother never physically showed her affection towards me in any more than a pat on the head and even that wasn't a regular accuracy. She finally released me from the tight hug. She stepped back, clearing her throat, swiping her face of tears, and readjusting her clothes uncomfortably, she was just as surprised and even embarrassed by her reaction too. I watched as she morphed back into the poised and put-together mother I remembered all too well. She turns away from me to seat herself on my couch, I decided that there was no avoiding this conversation, so I seat myself on the end of the couch. We sit in silence, the only noise surrounding us is the steady pour of rain and continuous thunder. "Where have you been Soni? I have been here three times now, and today you finally answered the door. I have been calling you every day. I, your father, and Hoseok have all been worried about you. Hoseok and Ann told me everything, why didn't you come to me?" Her questions sit in the air while I rack my brain on how to answer. This would be the perfect moment to let her in, or I can tell her what she wants to hear so she'll leave my apartment. I suck in a deep breath, "Mom", I start when a loud trill runs through my apartment. I look at my door and then back at my mother with narrow eyes, "Is that Hoseok?" I asked her while standing from the couch and slowly moving towards the door. It would make sense for my mother to bring Hoseok here to ambush me. She pulls her eyebrows together, shaking her head. Those dark brown eyes I have come to know so well meet mine on the other side of my door. I can't do anything but drink up his appearance. First thing is that he's wet, soaking wet as if he walked here in the middle of the storm. His hair sticks to his forehead, and he keeps running his hands through it to keep the water out of his eyes, he wears a black button-up shirt, jeans, and combat boots, with a dark denim jacket on top of all of it. His arms are leaning on the outside doorframe, and the expression on his face is unreadable. His eyes look past me, to my mother who is still seated on the couch. Taehyung straightens up and shoves his hands in his pockets. "I'm sorry, I tried to call before I came. I need to talk to you." I nod slowly and turn to my mother. She's staring holes into Taehyung. She's reading him, I'm almost happy that his tattoos were not on full display or she would have had a heart attack at the very sight of him. I step to the side to let him in, and he hesitates, looking between me and my mother before finally stepping inside my apartment. Taehyung being here was all I needed to come clean to my mom and put everything out in the open. "Mom, this is Taehyung."