One Of Those Ends

You remember that feeling you had when you were in love? That wonderful feeling you had when you got a text from him? That feeling when you were about to sleep but all you could think of was him? Yeah, I remember it. And it sucks. Cause' love sucks. Someone always end up getting hurt. This time it was me. I can't shake of that feeling of not being good enough. A good enough girlfriend. But that won't be standing in my way anymore, he won't be standing in my way, cause' I'm done. With love I mean. You survive without it and people who doesn't think that are foolish. They can't understand that life has so much more to offer.

I walk down the road to the bus stop with music in my ears and see a couple standing there all we-are-so-in-love smiling and laughing. Ugh, I'm gonna vomit. They are just lying to themselves . There's nothing that's called "love". You don't feel it, you just tell yourself that you do and believes it. When there is 2 minutes left for the bus to come my cellphone rings."Hello?" I answer."Hey, Chloe. It's me..." the voice responds.I stay quiet."Um... can I come by? Just to pick up my things I left there?" he continues."I'm not actually home right now"."Uh... were are you going?""Well that's none of your business" I say as cold as I can."But I need them, like right now!" by this point he's practically begging me. "Okay, fine.""Thank you so much! I'm coming right away" he says and hangs up.I turn around and walk back to the house. When I'm just about to take the first step up on the porch I hear his moped on my driveway."Hey" he shouts."Hey. Your things are upstairs, in my room." I say while I open up the door."Thanks" he says and walks past me towards the stairs.How many times hasn't he already done that? Walked past me like nothing's wrong when really everything is wrong. Suddenly I feel the craving for some strawberrie tea, so I walk into the kitchen and boil some water and takes out a cup. When it's done I sit down at the table with my book to get the time pass by. After a while I hear him come down and how he walks to the kitchen, to me. When I see him he has his hands full of old stuff that he left here."Chloe... I'm so sorry."I don't say anything, just looks at him."I know that you are hurt but I wish we could be friends again. Or that you can at least talk to me."I feel how I am on the verge of crying."You want us to be friends again?""Yes!"I can't cry. When he's gone, then I can do it."I don't think we can be that.""Why not?" he asks a little sad.No! I can't cry! Not now!"Cause of what you did!" I say a little louder."I have told you that I'm sorry! What more should I do?" I hear on his voice that he starts to get a bit annoyed."I don't know. I don't think you could do much more."My eyes starts to fill with tears. And soon they are running down my cheeks."I'm sorry Chloe! I really am. I never meant to hurt you!" he says slow and soft when he looks up at me."But you did!" I scream.He sits there quietly so I continue."You broke my heart. You broke me! And you asks for my forgiveness?"He open his mouth but I interrupt him."No, you can go. Now. Leave" I say and point to the hallway.He stands up from the chair he was sitting on. Halfway to the door he turns around."I did really love you. That was never a lie. Just wanted you to know that."That's the last thing I heard him say before the door closed.

I haven't heard of him since that day. It was a year ago. I think he has another girlfriend now. But I don't really care anymore...

Who am I  trying to fool?...

I still love him. A lot...