Alyssa Vernal and The Lost Treasure: Everything Wrong

The Plot

So I'm basically just gonna summarize the plot, what's wrong with it, and how I could've written it before. It will be the same with other chapters. 

Okay, if you've read my book... The plot is really simple. Three girls, who are apparently lost princesses, travel to the Diamond Mountain to retrieve the queen's "stolen crown". What's wrong with the plot? 
First off, the queen's crown won't get stolen if there are lots of guards guarding the palace, unless the guards are really careless and won't do their jobs. But it wasn't even mentioned in the book how the Ruby Kingdom (specifically Vanessa) was able to get their hands on Queen Angelica's crown. The only thing we got was from the note, which said: We are the ones who stole this crown. You guys didn't even realise it because you guys were too dumb. Well, I really hope you guys are all happy that you found this crown. It was disgusting anyway.

Honestly, I would make this a lot longer for more emotion and disbelief from the trio. But nope, I had to go with a very simple, short note that would make the readers confused and also wonder why they did it. The reason was actually stated in the second book (which I didn't publish, because the series discontinued), and it was stupid. Apparently, they stole Queen Angelica's crown to put some kind of curse on it, so that Queen Melinda would possess Queen Angelica. Like... what? So you just stole Queen Angelica's crown to put some kind of curse on it, then possess her afterwards because you want to know the Golden Kingdom's plans?? Just because you hate your younger sister?? Not a very smart way to spy on another kingdom, especially if you're a queen yourself. There are many ways for you to spy on a kingdom, like - just send a spy in there, maybe a new member of the Ruby Kingdom or something, so that the characters won't know she's actually a spy (but Queen Angelica would probably find out eventually). 

Now, here's my idea: Queen Angelica is the queen of fire, so she should have her purple staff and crown produce fire,  whenever it senses someone from the Ruby Kingdom touch it, immediately burning their hands. If Queen Angelica is the most powerful of all the four forces, then she would know how to  defend herself and her items from her enemies. She won't be such a useless queen who smiles all the time, and would send the princesses to search for it. Ahem, they're princesses?! You should be sending your guards or policemen or whatever to search for it, not them. I also think that just because they're "lost" princesses, doesn't mean that they're "less" royal once they find out that they're princesses. 

Also, all these events didn't happen in a fictional world. It happened in the REAL world. Yes, the world we live in right now. The Diamond Mountain and the Green Sea aren't real (at least in the way I wrote them), and so are the other locations mentioned in the story. I can't even believe my younger self thought of putting these kingdoms in certain countries to REPLACE the current ones, such as: 

United Kingdom (Sorry about this) 

Denmark 

The Netherlands 

Luxembourg 

I know it wasn't mentioned in the book where the kingdoms are located, but those are the assigned locations. 
If I was going to write this again, I would write it in a fictional world, where all kinds of magic is possible, instead of the world we live in right now. It makes more sense, considering the fact that most of the locations don't actually exist. 

The ending was also so unrealistic. You don't get to climb a mountain and reach to the top after a couple of minutes, especially when you're climbing one like the Diamond Mountain ("Except, the island felt cold and when Alyssa looked up and shook her head to wake herself up completely, she saw that they were on an island. Only, the island was snowing and had a mountain full of snow." If it has snow, it would be harder to climb a mountain, because it would be slippery [this was mentioned, but somehow they didn't even slip and still made it to the top]. Plus, it took at least 40 days to reach the top of Mount Everest. See the problem?)

 The way I described this made it seem like the characters were only climbing a snowy HILL, but it's described to be a mountain. Also - Zalina could see the artifacts and jewelry even though it should be very far up? Man, I really want to slap my past self. 
A good way to rewrite this is to simply make the characters think that they made a mistake going there  unprepared. They still try to climb it, but since it's a snowy mountain, they will keep falling and afterwards, they'd get lots of injuries which could cause a major conflict in the story.
For the Diamond Mountain: I could just add a cave at its top and simply put all the jewelry there, including the queen's crown. I can put it in a treasure chest that needs to be unlocked or something (after all, it is
called "lost treasure").

Now let's get back to ranting: Don't even get me started on the scenes that had no point in the story whatsoever. The part where they ended up in a forest when they were supposed to be in the Golden Kingdom? A waste of pages. Enna could've just used her wand in the first place to teleport them to the castle, there was no need for the "golden taxi convertible".

Not to mention the wrong destination, when they were in an abandoned town. That had no point. Again - it's a waste of pages, only meant to excite the reader and to make them think something bad will happen, when in fact NOTHING bad happens.  This is the worst problem of the plot so far. What the heck. 

Anyway, those are all my problems for the plot. I didn't expect this to be long, and I'm sorry that it is. I have no idea why, but I've decided to rant about my stories at some point. I guess I hold a grudge against my past self for not thinking about these stuff, but hey - I was young. 

The next chapter will be about my characters, and how badly written they are. That will probably be shorter than this one, but for now, I'll see you soon. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!