BILLIE-HALES & ZEALOUS

Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

JAX:
After watching Billie mouthed the words, telling me I'm "just like the rest", it completely gutted me. I know I'm being a dick, and I know I'm hurting her, but I don't know how to handle this.
I stayed out of her way after I checked her work schedule, but even I knew this day would come.
If I'm honest, I've been watching from afar. Every damn time I went to practice, I would sneak into the stadium while the under-eighteens were having a scrimmage.
She'd be there, clicking away with her camera or sometimes just sitting there messing around with her equipment. Crazily, always by herself too.
So many times I've wanted to sit with her, but I'd pull back, knowing full well, I need to stay away. Heck, especially since she chose him. I know she did.
I left her, so obviously she's going to run back to him.

That day I left, I listened to her message, but as I told Billie, I'd hung up as soon as she'd said, she'd kissed him. He didn't kiss her she'd kissed him even though, she knew I'd claimed her. Well, as soon as I'd heard her say she'd kissed him, that's when I'd pressed end on her message. Yes, I still have it, but I'm just too stubborn to listen to it.
Hearing her break well, it's torn me apart. Hearing she got kicked off her course. Well, it really didn't surprise me.
Still, she didn't deserve that especially not after what they'd done to her. The sad part about everything is that I understand her I understand why she'd clung to him. I mean, even the most grounded of people couldn't cope with, all that was being flung at them.
It's just, she kissed him. She made the first move, and I can't seem to wrap my head around it. I guess I didn't want to confuse her any more than she was already. I knew she had feelings for him. Hell, she told me she did. Yes, that hurt like fuck. I knew she needed time to heal and figure out what she truly wanted, so I chose to ignore her and completely shut her out. However, today when we were waiting for our mugshots, I heard Billie and Frank. I don't know what the hell I was even playing at. I know she's not really like that. Any fucker can see she's pretty innocent. The fact she said, her heart belongs to someone already. Well, I automatically assumed she was talking about that fuck! Then I basically called them both out. I knew then, I hurt her by saying it. I know she's still mine. As much as I'll deny it, I know she is, but I've fucked up.
Every time I see her, with one of my buddies, I fuck-up even more. Then I make her look like she's easy. Damn it, just like he did! Zeal and that fuck, the mega-bitch. They all made her out to be a slut, but she's really not. I know this because I watched her almost crumble when I did it again. When I told them all. Hell, even my fucking coaches. I basically told them she was up for anything.
Fucker! I'm such a dick! Why can't I just, man the fuck up and tell her how I feel? I went after her when she stormed off the field. Well, I watched as Dawson followed her out too. I held back because I wanted to see if she'd fall for his shit. We all know he's doing it to wind me up. He is because he knows how I feel about her, they all do.

Anyway, I watched them and watched her tell him to do one. Well, I was so close to kicking his arse when he'd manhandled her. I was steaming, desperately wanting to hit him just for even touching her. Only she'd beat me to it when she'd taken the fucker down herself. I tell you I've never felt so proud, in my damn life. I've never felt so proud of her. She dropped him to his knees after kneeing him in the balls. I wasn't the only one who'd seen it too. No, Tony the stadium's caretaker. He watched the whole thing while he'd stood by my side.

"Ooh, that's got to smart a bit. I tell you what kid, that girl's got a lot of balls taking on this lot. She's fitting right in around here. You, however, need to sort your shit out. We all know she's your Lumpy, and that fucker over there... buddy, you know and I know he'll keep coming for her. He'll do it, just to piss you off.
Trust me, Jax, he'll do it.
You know, she came here that day when you came here, looking for the boss man. Somehow, she got inside looking for you.
Kid, you can deny her all you want, but that girl is smitten. It's not with him or any other fucker else in this stadium. Nobody but you.
Sort your shit out before you lose her forever, and before he eventually, wins her over too."