I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I feel like what I'm doing is ruining the friendships that i have left, causing me to lose myself, making me think that they would all be better off without me there.
I started liking this new guy that joined out friend group, he was a little bit younger then me but i didn't really care, its not like he was half my age. Things were going good, we started hanging out side of the group, started getting close when around friends, we would always be touchy since both of our love languages were physical touch.
Then things changed when he met my best friends younger sister. They both were the same age and they went to school together so they hit it off well. They were trying to play it off like they didn't like each, she would always try to be mean and bully him because that's how she showed how she liked someone, he would always just go along with it and would always just play it off like it was nothing and would always act different when we weren't or were looking.
One day, we all went to my best friends, lets call him James, grandparents house to go to the pool.
James, his sister Madison, they boy Mike, our other friend Drew and I got changed in the house, and then all slowly got into the pool together, was the last to get in because i just didn't feel like it. I'm not really going to go into details because not much happened beside us playing in the pool, and just relaxing.
After we hung out for a while we all got hungry and then trying to decide what to eat, and since I'm the driver, Madison in the passenger, and James, Drew, and Mike sat in the back, and all they did was yell at what to eat, i decided on taking us to Turtle. That night was what really made it all happened.
We all sat down, Madison and i on one side, the boys on the other, we were chilling, laughing, debating on what to get and what we should do afterwards, what's happening, things like that. During the entire time, thinking that none of us would noticed i guess, was Madison and Mike doing small hand signals and eye contact with each other when we weren't talking to them. We all noticed, just never anything because we all knew at some point they were going to be a thing, but that was the day things changed between Mike and I.
He stopped being touchy, he stopped talking to me everyday, we stopped hanging out with it being jus us two, all of that stuff just ended because Madison and Mike started talking to each other and i guess that's when I changed my way towards him.
Now i guess I'm becoming jealous, because i was told by Drew and James that Mike said that I'm distancing myself when James and Madison hangout with us, i tend to pull Madison away from him when we all hangout, i come off rude to him like i don't even like him, things like that. I can really only explain me pulling Madison away because, her and I never really hung out before all of this, it would just always be a simple hi between us whenever i would see her at her house or when I pick her up with her brother, but I was just want to spend time with her since we never time once she is still in school and I'm working a lot, and so when her and i hangout the boys are always with us and it's hard since Mike always wants to pull her away too.
But i do guess that i am jealous but it also doesn't help that I"m the only person in the friend group that isn't in a relationship o it just kinda makes me lonely and i don't know what to do, since sometimes I don't wanna hangout around them because they are always doing couple things and i just stand there being a wheel and I don't know what to do anymore.
