Dazai?... [] Soukoku/Evil Dazai

004

-Chuuya POV-

I watched as the 2 idiots left, no offense I hate most of the ADA. Actually they can take offense to that. I think it's dumb that Dazai left the port mafia to join those idiots, I mean he ditched me for 4 full years what kind of Fiance does that? Well him apparently to go become a 'good guy' we all know he isn't or well the people in this room possibly with the exception of Poe know. His best friend, father figure, and fiance. We all know he's not perfect but we love him, at least I stupidly do. I wouldn't admit that to anybody but him and myself. 

I've always wondered 2 main things about Dazai, why'd he leave the mafia and why hasn't he actually died yet since he's been talking about it at least since we met. I think these questions are gonna stay with me till the day I die though, I wouldn't ask him these. I know he hates talking about certain things and I might know him better than anyone but I don't know if he enjoys said topics or not. I love the man but god am I afraid of him more than anything. Even dumbass Mori is afraid of him and you know he's scary then. The entire mafia is afraid of him, and if they aren't they haven't met him or heard of him yet.

I've always thought its valid that I'm afraid of my fiance. Do I wish he had the same fear back? No god no, when Dazai is afraid of something you don't know he's afraid of it until it's to late. I love him more than anything and I never want him to be afraid of me, I'm not afraid when he's not mad but the second he's mad I do whatever he wants unless idiotic me can't tell he's pissed and is being a jerk. You might think its worrisome that I get afraid when he's mad but he's scary, without a doubt he's terrifying but has he ever hurt me? God no he loves me more than I love him. I can promise that anyday.

______________________________________

I've had a horrible week and people and my family don't ever help especially my siblings I hate them more than I should. Anybody else wanna become Chuuya when he was in the void and left alone? If I had music, anime, manga, and fanfics I would be perfectly fine with that. Honestly they be the only dumbass things I like lately other than my dog.