On The Verge Of Madness

This Is Only The Beginning

She glanced over at me, I get flustered. Does she feel the same for me? Does she know my deep secret and the unimaginable dreams I have? She couldn't possibly, not in a million years. She is captain of the football team, I'm just a regular student at Caligal High, no one notices me.

My aunt comes to visit and brings me a beignet for comfort. She asks "shall we go watch Josette practice on the field outside?". I say, "I don't know, what if she notices me and thinks I'm stalking her?". Freya says, "I thought you say no one notices you? Besides all you are doing is walking by, what could go wrong?"

We are walking outside on the courtyard just right by the field as my aunt says, "Which one is she?" I state, "The hot one that sweats diamond dust. Her right there in the bun pigtails and a blue bow." I get butterflies as I watch her play but even more when she looks up and notices me. She waves and smiles as I look and stare into her eyes. I get scared so I turn away.

Later on in homeroom Josette comes up to me, my stomach tightens up I felt like puking. She asks, "Why didn't you wave back earlier?" I say, "Oh my bad I meant to." Josette says, "You look flustered when I waved and then you just turned away. Do you not like me?" I say, "Well of course I do it's not that at all.". She asks, "Then what is it?" I told her with butterflies in my stomach and my heart pounding out of my chest, "I don't know how to act around someone I have a crush on."

As she is smiling she says, "A crush on me? I didn't think you were into girls." As I look down smiling while looking at her eyes still I say, "I do like girls, and I like you." She laughs and says, "I like you too, a lot actually." She asks me out on a date and just like that we were together. It was like I got hit in the head by a rock and was just dreaming, waiting to be woken up and realize it wasn't real but it was.

I can't believe it, I am hers and she is mine, but it's difficult between us. She is the popular girl and I'm just a regular girl, what if people make fun of us? What if she gets scared and breaks up with me? No, I'm overthinking she likes me, I don't need to worry. I'm playing dodgeball later on in the gym while I see her walk in giving a tour to the new girl. She looked so nice and Josette looked so comfortable with her. I freaked, I threw the ball at my friend to hard, I knocked him to the wall. She rolled her eyes at me and walked out.

Tomorrow in the office the principal talks to me about what happened in the gym and looks really frustrated. He invites Josette into the office. She asks me, "Are you mad?" I replied, "It was an accident." She asks the principal, "Does this mean I can go?" I told her, "Like I said it was an accident. You're wrong can I go now." She looks down in disappointment. Maybe I am overreacting, maybe it was just a tour.

Later on in her room I walk in, I sat down on her bed. I told her, "If my being here hurts you then I won't stay." She looks down and then looks back up and says, "I want you to stay." I smile and look into her eyes and say, "I miss you." She gives me a hug and the comfort of her was more than anything. She gave me a kiss, as she slowly moves her hand down to my waist. She threw me down onto the bed and gets on top. She kisses me and she takes control. It was our first time and especially after a fight it was amazing.

Tomorrow was the beginning of summer, she is saying goodbye to her sister who is visiting her mom in London. I stare out the window at her as I touch my lips remember last night. We have all summer together at the school and I can't wait for the fun we will have. With homecoming coming up after summer we get to practice. But first, we had more fun in her room which was basically all summer.

It's the middle of summer, we were supposed to go on a motorcycle ride but Josette never showed up. It's an hour later and she finally came. As she was about to walk away then I realized she was there. I say, "You made it." Josette replies, "sorry I missed you earlier." I say, "Relationship trouble?" As I grin while looking down. Josette said, "It's not what you think, I wanted to see you so bad it freaked me out." I started to tear up and say, "sometimes you have to be imperfect with people even if it's scary." She smiles and says, "come and get on." I get onto the bike as she grabs my waist to hold on.