I Am The Gay And You Know It

chapter 1

*sigh* it's so nice to dreamt about my prince charming, he even kissed me kyyaaaaa!! i don't want to wake up at all, maybe i could continue the dream again, who knows what would ha-
"yah you pig get up, i know you're awake already" this girl how she do this to me.
"i said get up Luhan, we are late you know, stop dreaming and stand up" i hold the comforter tighter but she just have to pushed me from bed, when i want to glare at her she just left me there on the floor.
"aiisshh this girl! i want to make out with my Sehun, if only she doesn't came! wait!! what's the dream again?? aaarrgg i forgot ugh!!"
"shut up and hurry Lulu!!"
"don't call me that you female!!" i stand up and hurried to the shower.
out of the house i saw Chaerin on the gate tapping her foot on the ground. she glance at me but then walking away leaving me behind.
i used to this kind of attitude of her every morning, she's not a morning person anyway but for her school she would never want to be late. yea nerd much.
i catch up with her and hooked my right arm on her left one.
"you know you will get older sooner if you always frown every morning"
"i already look older than you anyway and it's you who got problem with your skin, you do not get older"
"it's not a problem i got to take good care of it for my Sehunnie kkk"
"stop your kkkk it's irritating" i just scofed to her words.
we always walk together every morning and there would be many people who greet us but this grumpy lady beside me just have to glare at them to make them run.
i don't know what happened to her that changed her become like right now, the cute , hyper, nice girl i know has change to be this cold.
*sigh*
"Lu ge!!" ah that's Xiumin, he wave at us so i wave at him too and there i saw my handsome boy Sehun smilling at us.
"hi sehunnie, good morning~" i run to him and give him a hug and he hug me back.
"what's up CL!" Kris put his hands up expecting for high five.
"yo" but she just walked passed us.
"soooo coooold bbrrrr"
"Chae don't be rude to my friends~" i said loud enough for her to hear it.
"shut up Lulu! bye guys" i pout to her words.
"bye noona" my Sehunnie and Tao said cutely
"bye CL" the others said.
"lets meet at lunch~" Chanyeol said waving his hands eagerly.
"no matter how cold you are i still love you~" we all glare at him.
"kidding guys, don't kill me"
we just shook our head to him then walk away heading to the class. girls are whispering and staring dreamly at us. for me it's irritating but i know the others loves it so i wouldn't mind, i still could walk beside Sehun anyway.
"oh look we got hunhan again today, kyaa so lucky~" i smile to that comment.
everybody in this school already know i have a thing for Sehunand most of the are ok about it and Sehun doesn't mind it too, he never he hate my attention so i have no problem on showing my affection.
"i prever Luhan with CL tho, they looks good together"
what's that? hell to the o~ i would never like my Chae that way, she is my bestfriendand kindda like my own sister, so no way.
"you heard that hyung? they said you looks good wiith CL noona"
"oh come on Sehun, you know i only like you" i tighten my grip on his left arm.
"i see hahaha" see? he doesn't mind at all, so i will surely make him fall for me too.
"then is it ok if i ask her out?" Kris asked excitedly.
"me too! CL noona is so cool, i like her since we first met" Chanyeol jumping in front of us.
"true! she looks so mature and smart too, perfect to be girlfriend" not you too Xiumin hyung.
"CL noona is so nice, i know she is not scary, i like her too~" Tao!!!
"so is it ok???" they asked.
"no way in hell you crazy boys!!" they look at me confused.
*sigh*
"i know you guys too well and i know what is bad about you guys, so i would never accept that!!!" they are in lost from my words but then srugh it off.
"meany hyung" Tao said but i just rolled my eyes.
when we walk inside the class i saw Chae with her ear piece on, she loves to listen to song in the mornng while waiting for teacher to come. i wave my hand to her and she noded at me.
me, Xiumin and Kris are at the same clas as Chaerin but for your information she never like to hang out with us, crowdy life is not her style, so 12 of us around her surly would make her in very bad mood. i don't mind with that coz both of us always hangout after school together anyway.

after school at Luhan's house in his bedroom
we are playing some games in my room and it's our daily routin after school and today's not the exeption. my family already know my condition, they even have tried to help but with no luck so they just gave up. thanks to god they didn't make this a big problem any longer. so fo Chaerin staying in my room is ok for them. in fact they even said maybe with her always around me, i could be straight again, as if that would happend. we always together but nothing has ever happened to me like any sign of stright boy or anything, i still prefer boys than girls.
"maybe it's because the way she dress and act around you which make you feel nothing"
i remember one of my noona said that.
i don't know maybe yes or not. she is different you know, she use male uniform to school, i mean she wear pants. i never know how our school alow that. i like her that way, doesn't neet to be scared if the boys would peek on her skirt coz doesn't wear it. her hair, she got dirty blond long hair with bang covering her forehead, it's fine. her eyes always eyelined coz she said she doesn't like it without it, pretty, she looks fine without it but if she said so it's ok. the way she sat, ah!! maybe yes, maybe this is why she doesn't effect me at all, she is a tomboy. but i like her that way, i don't think if she is girly i would turn straight, it's just me who love boys anyway.
"Luhan stop staring you gonna lose you know"
"as!! wait!! yah don't kicked her like that! yah you botch i don't wanna lose!!" to late she KOed my character in the game.
"your fault, who said to just stare at me" she shipped her juice.
"i just curious about my unni- i mean noona's words" she laugh at my words.
"aaahhh Lulu~ you really are a girl by heart, called your own noona as unnie ahahahaha"
"shut it!! and stop called me Lulu!!"
"what's she said anyway??"
"she said maybe you could help me to be straight again"
"huh?" now her head turned to face me.
"i said that would be no way coz i never felt any feeling straight boy would feel towards you" she just keep staring at me, het habit actualy, staring at people on the eyes when talking.
"she said maybe it's because the way dress up anc act so it doesn't effect me" i got no repley from her so i look at her again.
"do you want to change?"
"um? i don't know, i don't really mind with myself, but you know how people would say differently" i sigh from the fact i have said.
"just be yourself even if people opposed your decision, i would always support you, your family and friends would support you" she smile playing with the controller in her hands staring on the screen.
"i know you will and they will, but will Sehun stay still if i go further than this?" i hung my head low, scared of the possibility of rejection.
"what do you mean further? you want to ask him out?"
"maybe" i hung my head even lower.
we keep silent for a moment before she speak up.
"it's ok i'll be there for you even if he reject you" i taped my shoulder and hug me. i smile to this, she always know how to make me smile and happy.
we know Sehun is not gay, he loves girls. we know he just doesn't want me to get hurt so he let me cling on to him. that's why i got scared of his rejection when the time for me to ask him out.
"i need to go home Luhan, it's late already" she got up and stuffing her things into her bag.
"i'll walk you home"
"no, no it's ok you don't have to" she pushed me down again to sit.
"bye Lulu, see you tomorrow" i wave at her figure leaving my room.
i decided to clean my room from the mess we did, but not too long after that i hear thunder roaring loud and rain pouring hard so suddenly. i stare at the window contemplating about to go after her or not, i am sure she's still not that far from the house yet.
that's right, i finally run to catch up on her with umbrella in my hand. true she is still there on the bus stop probably waiting for the rain to stop.
but what caught my eyes's not how drench she is from the rain. it's her eyes which is red from craying and she is still crying when i reach her and hug her