Our mother

I step into my house, finally getting away from the ongoing rain, the door creaks closed, I listen closely to the house, trying to figure out if my mother has fallen asleep. I sigh, if I ran into her there's no knowing what would happen. I quickly undress my rain coat, stepping out of my boots right as Sammy, my younger sister, walks down the stairs.

"Sammy?" She's nine and three quarters, as she often reminds me, her cute pj set is soft pink with a unicorn on the shirt, I notice a dark pink splatter, ignoring it. It's probably just koolaid. Her hair is a tangled mess, but she'll end up dealing with it tomorrow morning. I scoop her into my arms as she sleepily rubs her eyes, "What're you doing out of bed silly. It's already ten thirty, you should be fast asleep."

She yawns, cozying up into my arms, "I was waiting for you..." Her voice trailing off as she starts to yawn once again. I walk up the stairs, stopping outside of her room, dreading walking in, something about her room has always been off.

"Where's momma? I gonna make some tea, will you want some?" I ask her this as I set her on her bed, tucking her in. She loves when I make her tea.

"Mommy's asleep, she went to bed a looooong time ago, but it's okay, I haven't bothered her so she shouldn't wake us up tonight." I sigh, that is good news. "I want some tea please!!!" She's more awake now than she was when I had first arrived home, her face slightly animated. I laugh, poking her cheek before she can swat my hand away. Noticing more pink stains, this time on her sheets.

I watch her for a few more minutes before deciding to leave, making sure she stays in bed on my way out. I close her door lightly, trying not to stir her again. I look towards my moms room, avoiding it at all costs, I decide against checking on her, I'd rather not get yelled at.

Drug addiction stole her long before Sammy was born and now that Sammy's dad is gone it's only gotten worse. I can't even look her in the eyes without her losing her mind. Often times Sammy's teachers ask where she gotten her bruises from, they go from a sage green all the way to a dark purple, littering her body as if she is nothing but a punching bag. I make up obvious excuses, she fell off her bed, she got a little too rowdy with the neighbor kids, I'm sorry I'll make sure it doesn't happen again.

Thinking about this makes me sick, I don't know how much longer I can stay in this house. I'm twenty three. I should be fresh out of college in my own apartment, not working my ass off at two jobs for minimum wage to take care of a thirty nine year old woman and a nine year old.

I take the water off the stove, making sure I have everything I need to make the teas. Accidentally burning my hand with the water, I quickly poor the cups, making them as sweet as ever. Since I'm down here I decide to check the fridge, the koolaid might be gone now, I wanna make sure I add it to the grocery list.

I carefully walk up the stairs, making sure not to spill, avoiding further burns. I walk into Sammy's room, her night light glaring against the white walls. Her white walls? I turn on the light, noticing drops of color, I set her glass next to her bed, peeking to make sure she's still asleep. As I walk to the closet I notice more drops of color, littered around her floor, shining on the wood.

I open the closet door, not making sense of what I'm seeing, my heart starts racing, the urge to laugh and cry, coming out at the same time. I look back at Sammy, she's sitting on her bed, looking at me with lifeless eyes, "You weren't supposed to find out this way, you shouldn't've looked over there." I laugh, this is all just a crazy dream, a dream. There's no way Sammy did it first, there's no way she did what I've always wanted too.

"You lied to me Sam, you told me she was asleep." I laugh, making a joke, avoiding saying what she did out loud.

"She is asleep," she states this calmly, "she just won't be waking up this time. I tried to clean up after myself, obviously I didn't do that well, I'll just clean it again, but I don't know what to do with her body." She looks at me, asking for help, I nod, telling her to get garbage bags. I grab my mom, she's skinny, a bag of rotten bones.

I take her outside, walking into our shed, I set her on the wooden table, carefully removing her clothes, once I remove them I walk back out into our yard, starting a fire, the rain subsided an hour ago, our dry wood setting in the shed, I throw her clothes in it to burn. Once I'm done I tell Sam to bring me the razor, I don't want her long hair to get in my way when I do what I have to. I know I have the correct cleaning supplies, I just need to make sure there's nothing in the splatter zone. I make sure everything is in its containers, nothing out in the open.

This is a new beginning for us, I'm not going to get caught right as my life finally has the chance to start. I put on a bike helmet that has a plastic cover over the eyes, I'll burn my clothes and shower as soon as I'm done cleaning. I start up the saw, choosing to just saw off limb by limb, her legs, bag them, her arms, back them, her head, bag it, bag the torso. Altogether we have four bags, I double, and triple bag them, hoping blood would not leak out.

I quickly clean up the shed, going through it once more, before burning mine and Sam's clothes and finally showering. Sammy helps me load the bags into the car, leaving after double checking. We drive down to the public dumpsters, dumping her body, deciding to eat before heading home.

I walk into my moms room, sitting on her bed as I dial 911, her history of disappearing for months at a time making this all the much easier.

"Hello? I'd like to file a missing persons report please."