Am I the asshole??

20

AITA for my response to my SIL's comment about my miscarriage?

I'll preface this by saying that me (f31) and my sil "Valerie" (husband's brother's wife) never had a close relationship for some reason. But we are on okay terms most of the time. That is until she started making comments about my physical health. she always points out how thin and small my figure is (I've always been like this). especially my flat chest or non-existant butt. In comparison, she is blessed in those areas. she cares so much about her appearance and most of her time and money is spent on that. Anyways I try to always take it easy and not get offended since she's just making "absorvations".

I finally got pregnant after 3 years of trying. The whole family were thrilled but unfortunately, I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago which was unexpected and quit devastating. My MIL invited me for dinner last night as a way to cheer me up. Valerie and BIL were there too. We were talking during dinner and Valerie brought up my miscarriage. She flatout said that the miscarriage happened because of my body and "my small and limited potential it has to be able to carry a baby" Ngl, this shook me hard. My husband looked at me hoping I'd let it go but I looked at Valerie from head to toe then pointed at her chest and said " Oh I see that's where all your brains and class melted to." She was stunned eyes wide open. BIL got involved saying this was not cool but I argued that she made a jab at my body and basically blamed it for the miscarriage. We all started arguing but my husband sat there quietly watching. I got up, gathered my stuff and told him I wanted to go home.

He was quiet the whole ride home but scolded me hours later saying what I said was totally mean and out of line and his SIL was just making "an absorvation". He told to call her up and apologize for what I said since she and his brother are upset but I declined.

I think maybe I shouldn't have said this and ruined dinner that was set up for me. AITA?