TEACH ME PROFESSOR [Elizabeth Olsen]

Chapter 36 - On the floor

LIZZIE'S POV

"Oh god is so delicious, don't you like it beauty?"
"Uhm what? Oh no yeah it's good it's just-uhm i'm not very hungry" i respond

This man is so cringe and i just want to go back to her, snuggle up in her arms and fall asleep with the background of her voice.
I want her warm body next to mine, i want to feel her.
Why the hell did i run away from her?
Why do i keep refusing her, pushing her away from me even though i feel the need to be close to her? She looked so pained while before i was leaving with Mister Walker.
I promised her i'd spend time with her and after all this trip was just an opportunity to be together but i just keep running away.
I'm afraid, not of her, but of myself.
I'm afraid that i can't control myself when i'm close to her.
After that dream even if it was fantastic and so good, i'm terrified that something like this could really happen and i know that i wouldn't stop myself,
that the passion would overwhelm me and it would be terribly wrong.

"Oh now i understand why you have those lovely shapes" he says winking at me and letting his gaze fall on my cleavage.
I feel quite uncomfortable right now.
"If you don't eat anymore, can i have it?" he adds
Wow what a galentery
"Yes sure" i give him a fake smile and he happily takes my plate and starts eating like a pig again.

"After i would prefer that you take me back to the hotel" i swear, i don't want to be alone for one more second longer with this slimy man.
I was so fucking stupid, i could be with her right now.
"Oh but we just arrived, but okay i understand, you want to go straight to dessert, you are such a gourmet Miss Olsen" he says with a smirk.
God this sucks
"No i didn't mean tha-" my phone rings and i quickly grab it to answer, interrupting that moment of discomfort.
Thanks god.
"Hello?"
"Hi Lizzie, i'm Hailee..."
What? Why the hell is she calling me and how does she get my number?
But thinking about it... i look at the number and i realize she's calling me from y/n's phone.
A strange feeling makes its way into my chest.
"What happens?" i ask panicked, but trying to stay composed in front of Walker.
"You should come here, Scar forced me to call you... well y/n drank a little too much and didn't want to eat, she's delirious and-"
"I'm coming" i interrupt her hanging up the phone
"We have to go" i say to the man in front of me
"What? But-"
"Listen or you take me to the hotel or i'll call a taxi" i impose raising the tone of my voice
"Okay okay, i'll take you princess, but what happened?"
Can he please stop with these fucking nicknames?
"Y/n-i mean uhm- a student was sick, i have to help her"
It's so hard to keep it secret, to pretend y/n is just student to me.
But she could never be, she has never been since the first day we met.
She's special, different from all the others and i noticed her immediately, from the first moment our eyes met.
"Oh but then someone will help her, let's not ruin our beautiful night for snotty kids" he reaches out and rests his hand on mine but i pull it back immediately.
Are you fucking kidding me?
"They are not snotty kids okay!? And it's my duty to help them so let's move our asses from here" he remains unchanged but luckily after this he gets up and we go towards his car.

I hope he keep in silent during all the trip.

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After a few minutes we arrive at the hotel, without hesitation i get out of the car and run inside, i go to the bar and find Scarlett and Hailee who in vain try to calm a y/n completely delirious and out of herselves
"Oh thank goodness you're here" Scarlett says as soon as she sees me
"We could have done it alone" Hailee says, glaring at me and so do i.
"Stop Lee, Lizzie is the only one who can do something" Scar replies
"I also called her friend Cassie, she was out with your guys but she said she's coming back" she informs me and i nod.
"Elizabeth? What are you doing here i don't want you" my attention turns to y/n who stumbles towards me.
I can smell the alcohol even from meters away.
"Why did you let her drunk like this?" i blame Hailee
"Sorry what? Are you really blaming me? Look it's your faul-"
"Okay it's better if we find a solution " Scarlett interrupts, reminding both of them that Coach Walker is right here and can't find out about the kind of relationship between me and y/n.
"I'm fine, but i don't want her" mumbles y/n again
"Hon-uhm miss y/n you have to calm down now" i tell her
"What the hell do you want from me? Leave me alone" raises her voice and grabs a glass and gulps down the contents in no time at all.
"Okay now you're exaggerating" i reach out to take her glass away but she pulls away making it fall to the ground and breaking into a thousand pieces
"Oh no look what you did! I hate you!" she whines like a little kid.
"Okay miss y/l/n this is too much, you deserve a disciplinary note for this and above all for the disrespect towards Miss Olsen" intervenes Walker surrounding my hips with his arm.
I try to get away but his grip is strong.
I look at y/n who looks first at Walker's arm around me and then looks me straight in the eyes.
"Oh coach hello, how was the dinner?"
No y/n, please don't do it.
"None of your business, but you should go back to your room now" he orders
"And you should take your hands off what isn't yours" she approaches him, challenging him with her gaze.
I look at Scarlett for help.
"What the hell are you talking about y/l/n?"
"I'm kindly telling you to take your hands off her or i'll have to do it by force" she comes even closer
"Y/n please..." i beg her whispering, she looks at me but now that she's close i see the nothing in her eyes.
Her face is so pale and she looks so tired
"I don't want to talk to you" she says
"Elizabeth what's going on?" the coach asks me
"Nothing, i think she just needs to rest and get rid of all that alcohol" i explain
"Hey what do you think if i walk you up to your room?" i ask, approaching her kindly, hoping that she will calm down.
"I-i don't w-want" i perceive something strange in her
"Hey are you okay?"
"Yes-i-i-" she collapses grabbing my arm to keep standing
"Liz-" i don't have time to grab her and she falls to the ground fainting.
"Y/n? Y/n wake up please" i kneel on the ground and shake her in the hope of waking her.
"Fuck y/n come on, don't play with me" instinct wins and tears start flowing down my face, not giving a damn about everything, even if Walker finds out i don't care.
"Fuck fuck fuck" i swear
"Liz come on relax now, she'll be alright" Scar helps me up and hugs me to calm me down.
"Help me take her to my room, i want to take care of her"
"Okay, as you want" she says

"We should call someone and-"
"No, there is no need, i'll take care of it, you should go back to your room" i interrupt Walker
"Oh come on Elizabeth, really? It's not your duty and it's not fair that she spoils our night." at that sentence i can no longer see with anger
"I'm her teacher and it's my duty to take care of her understood? I don't fucking care how you would do this but is my way of doing and i don't allow you to talk like that of any of my students anymore or you will have to deal directly with me, do you understand? " i move towards him, raising the tone of my voice, he looks at me bewildered and nods and then leaves without saying a word.

I return to look at my little and fragile unconscious y/n
"Okay honey now i'll take care of you" i caress her cold face gently.
"Come on Scar help me take her to the room" i tell her trying to pull y/n up by supporting her with my arms.

"Wait i help you-"
"You get out of the way, you've already done enough" i clarify angrily
"Are you kidding me? I can take care of her more than you would" she approaches trying to touch y/n but i immediately move her away from her.
"Don't touch her, i'm her teacher and it's my duty to-"
"Oh but stop it Elizabeth, everyone has understood that there is much more between you, stop saying bullshit, you're not very credible. You know perfectly well that it's your fault that she's reduced in this way, you are the cause of her pain" she attacks me
"Stop it"
"Why? Why are you afraid to admit how bad a person you are? A married woman who flirts with a young girl and then what? Make her suffer and let her drown in her suffering" she spits every truth about me, mercilessly, without any filter.
"I-i-" i can't speak, my heart is in my throat, my stomach has shrunk into a little knot.
"What Elizabeth? You what? You know it's your fault isn't it? You left her here and i hate to admit it but she does nothing but think of you, she wanted to be alone with you and you preferred to leave her, she came to let off steam with me, she drowned herself in alcohol and masochistically decided not to eat, look what you did to her "
"Hailee that's enough come on, Lizzie has realized her mistake there is no need to continue" interrupts Scarlett
"You don't-you don't know what you're talking about, you don't know anything about me and her, about our relationship. You don't even know her" i tell her, i would like to cry but i will never do it in front of her
"Maybe you're right, but at least unlike you i would never make her suffer like this, even if i have known her for two days i swear to you Olsen, i will do everything to ensure that you don't make her suffer and i know that if she continues to be close to you sooner or later it will happen" having said that she goes away, leaving me with a huge weight in my chest that crushes me, depriving me of breath.

Maybe i had to stay away from her from the first day, i thought i could help her and instead i'm the cause of her suffering.
There is something that keeps me glued to her, i can't stay away from her but at the same time this leads me to be terrified of being next to her, the fear of hurting her leads me to hurt her in turn.
"Liz, by the way-"
"No Scar, there's no need, i hate to admit it but she's right"
"You're not a bad person Liz, don't blame yourself"
"It's my fault if she's reduced like this, i should take care of her and instead i only cause her pain" i admit defeat
"Are you human okay? You're having a hard time, you're confused and even if you don't want to admit it now, sooner or later you will have to do it, you have to understand what is between you and her, honestly. Stop wandering around"
"What do you mean?" i ask her
"You know what i mean, or at least your heart knows so listen to it. Don't listen to your head, you'll both end up hurting yourself. Let go yourself Liz."
I don't say anything, i think only of her words while she walks me to my room, we lay Y/n on my bed, i tuck her under the covers and i leave her a kiss on the head and then turn back to Scarlett.
"What's happening to me Scar? I don't understand anything about my life anymore, it's like suddenly i have lost all the certainties of my life"
"So build some new ones, it's never too late to change your life and start over. Listen Liz, i love you and you know i will always support you, give yourself time to understand what you want in life but please do it consciously and don't hurt y/n, i know you don't do it voluntarily but i don't want to see you suffer for each other "
Everything always comes back to her, to the girl lying in my bed.
Since i have known her, my world has revolved only around her, as if nothing else existed.
"Night Scar"
"Night Lizzie" she hugs me, then closes the door behind her and leaves me alone.

I'm going to lie down on the bed, embracing that being so special.
"Sorry baby, for everything. I'm just ... scared.
I would never hurt you on purpose, i never could." i stroke her hair and watch her sleep.
I just want to be with her for a while now, no distractions, just the two of us.

In the meantime i need to challenge myself, i need to explore the deeper side of my soul, i need to understand what i want in life.