The perfectionist guide to imperfection

Crusty white out

Back-to-school season has always been my favorite time of the year, especially since starting college. Rebuying all my favorite school supplies and checking off another year towards completing my ten-year plan master list. I carefully curated it when I was a freshman in high school. So far my plan is on a perfectly timed schedule and nothing is going to ruin it. I've never shown anyone my list, not even my parents, and I don't plan on showing you, either. However, there is a small bump in my plan. I  received an email last week stating one of my roommates from last year would not be returning, it certainly put me in a sour mood. I don't have the time to meet someone new. I slammed the door to my old blue Volkswagen Jetta that was paid for after countless hours of bussing tables at the Salty Dog Diner across town. The walk to my room that I have been anticipating for three months, was now filled with uncertainty instead of excitement. I, Joana, am the first to admit that I have never been a very outgoing person. As a child, my parents have kept my schedule packed full of academic lessons, peer study groups, and a college course mixed in every once and a while. You know, for some spice. I try to live by the mantra my mamá always says "Hacer lo máximo para ser la mejor". Do the most to be the best. The one thing I do have to hold onto is my passion for soccer. My parents and I agreed that as long as I keep my GPA average above 3.99, I can stay in my sport. To most that might seem impossible, but to me that's like a B+. I stop in my tracks to wince, the thought of anything lower than a B causes my heart to palpitate. I slowly turn my head over to see a freshman giving me the judgy eyes.
"There's nothing to see here. Move along."
I huff and blow a wisp of hair out of my face and keep trekking forward after adjusting my box of essentials for my dorm. I have always been minimalist so everything fits in the cardboard nicely.
This whole situation with my parents is pretty overwhelming if I am being completely candid here. I am about to turn twenty years old and I can only have an intellectual conversation with one human being. They raised me to believe that my future is more important than meaningful relationships. Whenever I think to second guess their decisions, I think about how much success will come of this later. I hear my phone ding in my jacket pocket and have to juggle the box to look down at my phone. I see a text from my so-called friend Riley,
"Don't hate me, but I needed to take a last-minute trip to Target to get some decor. I'll buy you boba to make up for it. Love you!" I would bet my number one spot as valedictorian that she's out buying the newest squishmellow.
However, Riley was in fact, my best and only friend (she still is, but I'm feeling pretty betrayed right now.) She is also a part of the quad dorm that I reside in. We met at orientation last year. Her bubbly personality caught me off guard at first, but she was determined to make me her best friend, and at some point, I just gave up and let it happen. Our dorm space was a perfect mixture of my two favorite things, simple and cozy. It features a common area with a small kitchenette, with two bedrooms on either side. There is also a shared bathroom, but with four girls using it, it's hard not to be awkward when you've walked in on your roommates washing their diva cup with the face towel you used about thirty minutes ago, way more times than you care to admit.
I finally arrived at the obnoxiously heavy door to room 207 that had the names of all the people who lived there. I dropped my box for a second to regain my breath. It looked like the resident advisor took crusty white out to the previous name and replaced it with 'Marcy' in barely legible cursive. I only knew one person by that name and am praying to a God I don't even believe that it was not who I think it is. My parents always pushed me to excel in stem but also wanted me to conform to a religion. I have always thought with logic and practicality, so religion just doesn't necessarily fit into that. That doesn't mean in situations like this, I don't want to believe that there is a God out there that maybe doesn't hate us all. Faith is a cruel game I suppose.
I gave myself a quick pep talk and lifted the box back up. When I opened the door, there she was, Marcy Elrod. Former co-captain of my soccer team since grade school, also important to add, the most annoying person I have ever met. Her life mission since 3rd grade for a reason unbeknownst to me was to make my life as hard as possible, like for example, she tripped me in the bus line after school, thus causing me to drop my science fair project I worked on so hard on. My solar-powered oven had the strength to make pies and chicken cordon bleu. Unfortunately the night before the fair I panicked and made a potato charger, I ended up losing to Mackenzie Miller and her neon pink volcano. Ever since then, Marcy and I have been in an eternal war.
"You have got to be kidding me" I drop the box on my foot and yelp out. I quickly regain my composure and scowl at the new addition to the dorm. "This is ridiculous, how did you possibly traumatize your old roommate so badly you had to switch rooms!?"
"Aw, don't try to pretend this isn't the best day of your life, Del Campo, maybe having me around will make you less shitty at soccer." Marcy laughs and continues to juggle her USA-colored soccer ball between her hands.
That hurt a little, I won't lie. We both know that isn't a fair accusation though considering we both got into this college on an athletic scholarship. She is just jealous that I got chosen to be in the running for co-captain during the spring season alongside her, and I will win. I have been a center midfielder in Soccer since I could walk. It is undoubtedly the most physically demanding position to play. Mamá kept a rosary in my soccer bag and told me that is why I am so talented. It definitely had nothing to do with the copious amount of hours I pour into this sport every week. Right.
"You and everyone else know that I have an excellent recovery time and better footwork than you. I would compliment your skills but your ego doesn't need any more inflating". Marcy dared to look offended.
"Now please, move out of my way so I can enjoy my first day back without having to hear your agonizing voice".
Riley should hopefully be here soon so we can discuss how I will officially win the title as captain of the soccer team. While I've been studying and practicing soccer all summer, All I care to know is that Riley partied and hung out with some questionable people. She practically begged almost every weekend for me to join her. As much as I admired her persistence, I had to finish all my summer assignments in order to be allowed back into my own house. This dorm is my only space away from the added stress and Marcy Elrod is not going to mess that up for me.
For a solid minute, Marcy and I stared at each other, anxiously waiting for one to crack. Before I could claim my victory, the door swung open, and in walked Riley with a twenty-four-inch pumpkin spice squishmellow. I have to say it does look good against her deep umber skin. Anyone who looks at her can tell she is conventionally attractive. With curves in all the right places and hair coiled to her shoulders. I mentally added a thousandth tally to the "I'm always right'' chalkboard. She even dares to look sheepish as I walk up to her.
"You have a serious problem,"
I uttered as she set the monstrous mound of fluff down on top of the kitchen table.
"You just don't have the capacity to feel pure happiness in a huggable lovable form!" Riley sneered back at me. I scoff, move to my left, and bump into Marcy, now remembering the monstrosity that is my life.
"Riley, you need to tell Marcy she can't live here with us! This is going to ruin my whole plan of gaining inner peace." Riley scoffs,
"You never told me about a plan of inner peace."
"Well I could've made one, but now that she's here I can't." Riley rolls her eyes,
"I thought I was supposed to be the drama major?"
Marcy falls back into the couch, comically yawns, and props her feet onto a box. "Wow, really feeling the love here sweetheart." My face goes beet red from..anger.
"I've asked you for years to stop calling me that!"
I huff and glare at her when I notice something. Wait for a second, that's my box, my box that's full of important notes and plans to take over the world (kidding..), her high-top converse with terrible scribbles is getting dirt and leaves all over my box, that's just innocently laying there. I can feel my left eye starting to obnoxiously twitch... okay Joana, take some deep breaths, we got this. No one seems to notice my inner monologue when Riley puts her hands on my shoulder. My attention snaps back to Reality.
"Look, I told the RA's that Marcy can live here with us, we had the space and we don't want her rooming with some smelly freshman, or worse, by herself!"
"Wait, I had that option?"
Marcy looks confused and a little... constipated?
I reluctantly walked over to sit on the uncomfortable couch that the dorm gave us and sat as far away from Marcy as I could. You'd think with the sixty thousand dollar tuition rates we pay, that the college could at least get furniture that does not look like it used to belong to a family of raccoons? Marcy turns to me and an overwhelming smell of cloves and musk wafts up my nose.
"Look, I'm not loving this whole situation either, but this is kinda the only option we have so we might as well make the best of it, Riley pretty much took care of everything didn't she?"
"I disagree," I quickly shot out.
"I won't even be in the same room as you. Can you at least try to loosen the stick up your ass?" I can't help but just stare at her and take in her features. She has high cheekbones that seem like they would slice my finger if I touched them. Not that I've ever thought about touching her cheek. Ever since I've known her, she had long ink-black hair that ran down the length of her back, but it looks like this year she took a couple of inches off and dyed it a lighter brown. Her monolid eyes are piercing right through my soul.
Marcy is steadily raising her voice, she's starting to breathe heavily and I can see her fist clenching and unclenching the more we argue back and forth. Over the years I've seen how quickly Marcy loses her temper, but at the same token can cool herself down in an instant. It's a skill I will possibly never be able to achieve. Riley walks back into the room.
"So I took the bed in that room since it's closer to the window and opal took the other bed while we were talking earlier today, so that leaves the two beds on this side for you guys!" Riley looks oblivious to the color draining from my face.
"We" pointing my hand frantically from me to Marcy, "are not sharing a room! Her being in the same dorm is one thing, but the same ROOM? I think I might just die!" I start pacing across the room as Marcy sits quietly looking around the space. Riley looks unapologetic "well, I don't think it'll be too bad, anyway I'm going to go register for my classes because I procrastinated until the last minute, so you two have fun!" "Wait!-" Before I could even finish my sentence Riley was long gone, the only remnant of her is the shot of cold air that came from the door closing. I close my eyes and count to three, hoping that when I open my eyes this whole thing would've been a dream. Unfortunately, it's real. Very real. Marcy smirks at me, definitely seeing my frustration.
"This is certainly going to be an interesting year sweetheart." I've just about lost all the strength to tell her to shove it.

A/n- Hello everyone! This is our first book, we are a sapphic couple that enjoys reading WLW books. We had a lot of ideas and decided to bring one to life to share with you guys. We are up for constructive criticism and would love to hear any thoughts you might have! :) enjoy.