Need (Sirius X Reader)

Word Count: 3259

"Tell me again." You gave the sweetest command, looking down into an ever-changing pair of eyes. Every color flickered like a rainbow of flames: sparking, curling, then struggling to breathe as they faded away to new colors. His eyes never looked the same as they once had the moment before. But you'd learned to see beyond the flames, and now all you saw was a man on the verge of breaking.

"I….need you…" Sirius breathed heavily, desperation clinging to his voice as his hand clung to the leg of your pants. He gritted his teeth, both hating and loving the power you held over him, as he forced out a pathetic, "please…"

How had he ever gotten himself into such a situation?

[Memory]

Months earlier, you came to Sirius asking about charm magic. Of course, he laughed right in your face. Charm magic and love spells were the kind of thing children fanisized about, not full grown adults. Still, he found your interest in such cliche magic adorable. And as far as he  old see, you were still such a clueless summoner; he felt pity for not helping you. So he took you to the library that evening.

"But you can't put a charm on just anyone," Sirius explained as you studied two books at once, gaze flickering between them. "Said person has to already have an interest in you. Otherwise, when their mana is tampered with, the person will simply fall sick." 

You didn't answer. Sirius smiled, not a kind smile but one that betrayed his frustration with being ignored. "This is delicate magic if you want to do it right, you know," he went on, pacing slowly around the table you sat at, hands clasped loosely behind his back. Once behind you, he leaned over your shoulder and asked in a teasing tone, "are you paying attention? You should know better than to waste my time, Summoner." Back then, he still had the upper hand; you were a puppet on his strings. 

A few weeks passed, and you stopped asking for him for help. Sirius, curious as to why you'd seemingly abandoned your interest in charms, sought out an explanation. But any question he asked you regarding charm magic, you evaded. He noticed that you had picked up his ability to seamlessly avoid answering unwelcome questions. He was impressed, and felt proud that he'd at least taught you something, even if not charm magic.

So Sirius stopped asking, and instead began to observe you from afar. He refused to accept your lack of cooperation, especially when he'd spent so many nights at the library with you, teaching about such a childish form of magic. Why on earth did you even want to know about charms? He hoped that, by analyzing your daily life, he'd find the answers you were unwilling to give him with your words.

He searched for signs of you having used the skills you learned. The most obvious thing to look for would be a sudden stronger bond between you and an individual. Yet every time he noticed you spending time with one of the others, especially Vega, he felt a stitch of jealousy. This was nothing new. And nothing about your relationships seemed to have changed. He continued his watch.

Every time he noticed you walking by, or sitting across a room from him, he would study your reactions to the people around you. At the time, he had no idea that he was the one under your spell. His interest in you grew, but he thought nothing of it. You were just an interesting person, that was all. Weeks passed and he continued his watch, but slowly forgot about the questions he wanted answers to. You were just…interesting.

Interesting, how you would sometimes act like you didn't see him as you passed him in a hallway. Interesting, how you would answer his texts only after making him wait. Interesting, the way you would pause to think from time to time while writing an essay. Interesting, way your nostrils wiggled slightly when you were holding back a laugh. Every blink of your eyes, every click your shoes made on the floors of the Academy, every strand of your hair that you brushed out of your face, all so interesting.