i was given the news that my grandpa decided to stop going to dialysis and just wanted to live out the rest of his life at home i guess as a way to control when he dies because he says he's tired and that's even harder for me to deal with because there was so much he could have and can do to stay around longer and if i had the choice in his shoes i would and i'm angry about that but i'm more sad knowing that he's done being here and that's his choice and that the things he's told me about how he lives will live with me because he's told me things like "cigarettes are the only thing that make me happy" or that he would refuse to eat and it's a tough pill to swallow knowing that he wants to stick by what he likes even if it would kill him rather then be with his family. i know it's not my choice it just hurts everything seemed to be going so well besides a few bumps here and i was finally getting used to college and getting a rhythm down and it feel like life threw a meteor in everything and my world kinda stopped and went to a rapid decline and now i'm going to have to slowly build myself back up again.
and previously i had something happen that i can't talk about publicly but it's left me feeling mainly numb with many mixed feeling and feeling a little icky about the whole situation
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adhd thoughts
Randomi have adhd and it helps to write down my thoughts in a journal so they don't get stuck in the void that is my brain so here's some random thoughts that i have and also dreams and ideas i get
