It all started, when I got my scar...

Memories

Shoto P.O.V   (Touya isn't dead yet...)

"I can't raise him anymore, every day, my children, seem more and more like him." Those words seem to echo, through my mind. Utter shock, pulsed through my veins, as ice cold dread clutched my heart. " W..what are y..you say..ing m..mum...?" I mumbled as every inch of me screamed too move, but fear and worry held me in place. I have never been afraid of mother before. It fills me with a sense of dread, even more-so, than Endeaver, as mother is important/precious to me. For some reason, those words seemed familiar. But that would be impossible as I'm sure, I have never encountered those words before. And if I did, I'm sure it's not something you'd forget easily. Unless you got anemesure due to the heavy trauma or something but I have no gaps in my memory. Although at times, I feel like I'm missing something...

Then it hits me like a hurricane of memories and emotions, as she poured boiling water over my face. Years of abuse came flooding to my head. Not all the memories were bad, like my time at U.A, but the majority of them were... I screamed at the shear volume of it all and it didn't help that I was also suffering external pain as well as internal. The pressure of the situation made me black out. My mind, obviously, couldn't handle the stress. No one thought much of it as I just got burned in the face...but I... I can't...do this, anymore... All of this!! Is just...too...painful... I just...can't...not anymore...

All my life, I was taught to exceed, not just succeed. The luxury of giving up or being lazy from time to time was never given to me but that was okay! I was okay! I was fine cause I'm always fine... Ah! So this is sarcasm... I finally get it! I was told to do more than I should 24/7. I spent a lifetime doing what I was told, acquiring friend's and fighting the league of villains. Even encountering a dead brother along the way, who happened to be not dead...

But now.. I'm just...tired...*sigh*...So, so...tired... I don't want to do anything anymore. I've had enough... I think firmly. All my life I have tried hard, I never gave up!...Never...but now?...giving up is the only thing that sounds appealing. Why?...why did I even get these memories!?! I think as all my pent up anger slowly bubbled to the surface. So that I can go through the same trauma, twice?!? I never particularly wanted to die, per say but I never really wanted to live either... I guess, I just wished...things were different? That...I was never born?...Yeah... "never born..." I mumble softly to the open air. After all, I'm just tired... If death will give me the eternal rest, I desire, than so be it. I can't do this anymore... every second, I stay in this house, I feel disgusted. 

More and more memories flood through my brain, I feel nauseous from it all... My father did repent later on but it practically took him a whole decade?!? I know, I could just wait...be patient and later on, I will get into U.A. But I can't do that... I can't just wait in this hell of a house...Go through that ALL AGAIN!! Just so Endeavour can pull up the redemption card and I've changed shit...like you can change the past... I can't believe I'm saying this but Dabi was right, in one thing. One thing only but right nevertheless...The past truly never forgets...it haunts you. Swallows you whole, till nothing was left. Like a poison in the back of your head but no matter how much you try to suppress it. It will never quite go away. It will always be there at the back of your mind, taunting your every step. That's why, I can never...never...forgive him...Because the damage he did to me, can never be undone. My voice in my head was now quiet and fragile like a broken child... I'm a child... "I'm a child?..." I whisper with such a disbelieving tone, you would think someone said the earth was flat... I'm back... back in the past, I tried so badly, to avoid... 

*chuckle* "How much trauma? do I have to go through...again...just for you to feel sorry?..." I laughed a little although this was far from amusing. My cheeks felt wet with tears...and it occurred to me... I was... crying? Tears kept cascading relentlessly as if in fear, they wouldn't have another chance to be free from whatever that locked them away... It was a simple question that I already new the answer too...but evoked so much despair in me... I glared at my bedroom mirror as if it would give me the answers, I needed, through our similar features. My eyes hovered over my bandage, for a second, before it moved to my blazing red hair. Hair, identical to my fathers... I never really liked looking in mirrors as it always reminded me of bad memories.