Gulit

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28th of September
Dear diary,
Ha, I really sound like a teenager don't I? Honestly, I'm not too sure why I'm bothering to keep a diary. It's not like I've got anything interesting to write about anyway. My life is quite mundane.
Well.. most of the time.
I just feel the need to write what I'm thinking right now. At this very moment. Maybe that will help me relax. Maybe it will help calm my thoughts. Maybe it will help shake off the memory of what I did last night..
But being entirely honest, I think it will just make me paranoid. Paranoid that someone will find this. Expecting an account of my boring life, they'll read it, and come to the conclusion that I, Ezra Martin, am a cheating, lying, backstabbing waste of space and Scarlett would be better off without me.
Maybe it's true. Maybe it's all true, especially the last one. I sometimes stay up at night, thinking about how much better off Scarlett would be if she had never met me, all those years ago.
But she did meet me.
She cant change that, and neither can I.
Just like I can't change what I've done, or what Scarlett is going to do when she finds out...

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