Sad :(like very very sad this is all angst and it's just a one shot because I'm terrible at writing stories so if anyone I don't know wants to make it into one you totally can just tag me because I will read it and give me credit or whatever I don't...
The avengers gave Loki a truth serum to see if it would affect him . It definitely was not easy doing that but they managed . So now they are in the living room sitting around getting ready to ask some questions first they were gonna start slow and build up to the tough parts.
Tony started "so Loki what's your favorite color" "Emerald green"he answered "what do you like to do on your free Time" " I like to read"he said slightly confused but he didn't pay no mind to it of course they had questions about him they didn't want him to murder them in their sleep
Then Natasha took over she knows that the Avengers wanted to start with slow question so he wouldn't be suspicious but she really wanted to ask about his feelings which is weird on her part because she shouldn't care but she didn't really believe in the tough act that he put up with everyone else she can see between the cracks .
" so I really want to ask how do you feel most of the time? Which you might find it like a weird question but I really wanna know I just don't believe in the tough act "Natasha. Said
" have you ever felt so sad that you can physically feel the pain it feels like you can't breathe because there's this weight on your chest no matter how much you try to get rid of it never goes away no matter how much you try to fix it It can't be fixed."tears started sliding down his cheeks
" and you're trying and trying but nothings ever good enough nothing you do will ever be good enough for anyone it's like when you're shattered into a million pieces and you try to piece yourself back together but the cracks still there, the scars are still there, and no matter how much you try they will never go away because they're permanent" he says the avengers are just staring at him shocked
"It doesn't matter how much you cry it doesn't matter how much you scream the pain you felt from the beginning is still there. and when you think you're finally picking yourself back up and trying to get better and trying to work on yourself everything just comes back like a tsunami and smacks you right in the face and it drowns you all over again but this time as much as you try to get to the surface you can't because it'll keep pushing you down so you no longer have the will and strength to try again " he continued
" and at this point you just want to die and you tried it but you couldn't even get that. And now everyone who you cared about hates you and despise you and the worst part is you can't change their minds because you can't go back in time and change your actions you can go back in time and changed your whole life you just can't so now you have to deal with that pain deal with scars and deal with everything that everyone just throws at you with no possible escape. It eats from the inside out till there's no you left. and you know death is not even the greatest lost it's having to live while you're dying inside. Here's something I can tell you behind every tough act there's a broken soul who's waiting to just die so they don't have to feel pain again so they never have to feel worthless. To me life is like a never ending web the more you try to untangle yourself from it the more tangled you get. you wanted to know how I feel agent Romanoff well that's how I feel do what you want with that information" and Loki walked away
The avengers just sat in utter shock they don't know what to think what to say. What Loki just said was just soul crushing who would've thought that the person To try to take over New York had this much hurt inside them.
Thor had no idea this is how his brother felt
When Loki got to his room he still felt like there was this giant rock on his chest and yes he knew exactly what the avengers were doing and the whole truth serum thing but honestly It kinda of gave him an excuse to let it all out but he was right no matter how much you try to talk about it no matter how much he screamed no matter what he did that pain will forever be with him now the only question running through his mind is "should I try again to end it all or should I let it play out like a movie knowing there's no happy ending but only pain"
