3am thoughts (william x grell)

3 am thoughts

I woke up crying from a nightmare for the first time in a while.

I dreamt that William had a wife and kids. That wife wasn't me and the children weren't mine. I was looking on from the outside. He looked overjoyed. He gave his gorgeous wife flowers; roses, like he's given me many times before.

He's reassured me many times that he'd never leave me. He's said that I'm the only one he ever wants, but it's getting harder to believe him. He's not around as much, and I'm assuming it's because of work, but I don't really know.

I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm going to lose him. Then what will I do? I can't be alone, because I'll hear voices.

The voices grow stronger. They tell me that I'm not worth William's time, that I should tell him to consider me dead. They tell me that I'm god awful. They tell me that I shouldn't have been given another chance and that I should have just died from the start.

-

I couldn't face William at work the next day. He'd never ask, of course, because he's always too busy. He was curious, though, and that was enough. That told me that he actually cared.

William was the type of man that would never ask anyone anything because of his pride. He believed it made his social stature lower.

-

When I went to bed that night, I realized how much I loved William. He's made it into my dreams and somehow, I don't want them to stop.