I am broken inside. Don't want anyone to think I'm comparing me to there version of "broken" okay. It's fucking stupid how both of my best friends are hurting me. My first friend just told me she listens to me "complain" about my Nana. Well Jesus! She's in the fucking hospital with tubes all through her body I that's something to talk about. And it's not complaining, I'm scared for her life and today as much as I hate to say it, I cried in study hall today because of how sad and upset I was about her. And my other "best friend" is FUCKING my god damn sister but, I lost the interest in caring about my sister and getting new friends too probably. All she does is get them to have sex with her in some way and them let me find out a few weeks later and end another friendship.
It was hard to get used to it but I did eventually.
There's nothing I hate more than thinking about how mad and frustrated I am with the people who I care the most about! And why they are mad and frustrated with me. Literally I think about drinking everyday and none of this shit makes that thought fade in the slightest. And the funny thing is is that I would loose almost all my friends if I started drinking again and I can only think of a handful that would stay with me too.
