"Are you really going to enlist?" Jae-ah asked as I slowly pushed her wheelchair around the garden.
I chewed my lip. Overhead, the sun beat down hot over the two of us, despite the fact that it would likely cloud over and start to rain later in the day. For now, it was hot and sticky, gluing the flowy fabric of my dress to my back and catching the ends of any curls that escaped their updo. Luckily, the weather didn't seem to have much of an effect on Jae-ah.
Then again, Jae-ah would have braved any weather if it meant a visit to Sanguine Garden. The property that surrounded the discussion hall where all politics were managed was an elaborate, lush garden situated on a cliff overlooking all of Endellion. One could spend days wandering the mazes of fruits, flowers, and meticulously shaped shrubs. Despite it running right up against the building where all of the decisions for the city-state were made, the garden was its own beautiful little world—a bubble separate from the rest of Endellion.
My mouth felt suddenly dry. Why couldn't I just take my little sister to the garden without having to ruin it? Why couldn't we have just let her stay innocent? She had already had to come to terms with not seeing her brother much anymore when he enlisted as a pilot. Now, she had to hear that I was enlisting, too. She would be alone with Dad and our aunt and uncle in the family estate.
It was too pitifully unfair already, without even voicing what we all knew.
That Yun could come back and visit, but I wouldn't get that chance.
"El?" Jae-ah said, craning her neck to look back at me.
I forced a smile and began slowly pushing her across the lawn again. It took some effort to push the wheelchair in the grass, but I managed.
"You seem really distracted lately," Jae-ah said quietly.
I stopped, my chest clenching painfully. Circling around to the front of the wheelchair, I kneeled in the grass and took my sister's hand. Jae-ah watched each of my movements, like she was trying to memorize this moment.
She knew what was coming, but I had to say it anyway.
"Ree," I said quietly, squeezing her hand. "Dad already enlisted me."
Her eyes flickered, but she didn't seem surprised. A dull pain bloomed in my chest, spreading thickly.
"When do you leave?"
I swallowed. "Monday."
A breeze whispered through the garden, but Jae-ah stayed silent, staring at our intertwined hands. When she spoke again, it was with that same startling maturity she always had.
"Dad really thinks sacrificing his daughter is going to help things?"
I winced. Jae-ah squeezed my hand, a quick apology.
"It's all he can think of," I admitted. "If nothing changes, the family will go bankrupt. Dad would die before bringing that kind of shame on the family. Hoping that Yun does well as a pilot isn't enough anymore."
Jae-ah shook her head. "But he's sending his own daughter to die."
I nodded. Any more of a reaction and I wouldn't have been able to hold back the tears. I had cried more than enough in the week since Dad announced that he had signed me up to be a pilot's companion. For the first few days, I was scarcely capable of anything else. Once the betrayal waned, anger consumed me, and I couldn't even look at him for fear of what I would say. Even as the reality of the situation began to sink in, his words kept repeating over and over again in my head, like a radio station that only played one song.
"Don't you think you owe it to your family?"
"Owe you what?"
He shook his head, as if in disbelief that I didn't understand.
