Fed Up

Chapter 00

I saw four pairs of feet in front of the bathroom stall I was currently sitting in. I got up slowly, already feeling nervous. I flushed the toilet and opened the door. Sure enough,  my bullies were standing in front of me, sneering. "Excuse me." I mutter, and try to get out.

"Where do you think you're going, Large Marge?" One girl says. 

I cringe at the name these girls had made up for me back in middle school. It stuck and that's all everyone knows me as. Large Marge.

The girl standing in front of me, Vanessa, pushes me hard against the stall door and I'm thrown onto the toilet seat again. My head hits the door and the wall behind me. I groan and feel the bruise that's already forming.

The girls stand in front of the open door laughing. They hold their thumb and forefinger to their foreheads, shaping it into an 'L'.

"LARGE MARGE! LARGE MARGE! LARGE MARGE!"

I begin to cry, and I notice one of the girls, Sarah, walks away. They still chant my name, and it's the most hideous name I ever heard. Sarah comes back with lots of toilet paper in her arms, and she throws it all on me. Then Vanessa comes into the stalls and pushes me off the toilet. The other girls chant my name again, and Vanessa grabs me. She wraps all the toilet paper around my face and head, and then she dunks my head into the toilet.

I was really scared, so I didn't fight it. I had put up with their bullying for three years already, and today was the last day. Today was their graduation day, so I wouldn't see them anymore after today. I felt relieved.

After they left, I sat there in the stall, and cried. I tried wiping the toilet paper off but it clung to my skin and hair. My hair was soaked and smelled like the toilet. I finally got up when the bell rang, announcing the end of the school day. I walked out the school before anyone else could see me, and decided that enough was enough.

How was I to know if next year would be different? Those girls may be gone, but another set of girls could take their place. When I got home, I hurried into the shower, and thought loud and clear.

If I was skinny and pretty, none of this would have happened to me. If I looked like Vanessa, my high school experience would be great. If I just didn't binge on cheese balls and soda, maybe I could be an "It" girl.

After the quick hot shower, I took a long look at my body in the mirror. Fat clung to my skin like I was a walrus. I couldn't see my neck due to my double chin. I didn't even have a thigh gap. This needed to change.

I ran to my room, locked the door, and grabbed my notebook. I began to jot down rules for myself so I could lose weight. I wasn't going to drink soda anymore, and no more cheese balls. If I wanted to snack, I needed fruit. Running would also help, and I should invest in a jump rope or a weighted hula hoop.

I spent hours writing a new food regimen and a workout routine. Next was creating a new me. Who did I want to look like, who did I want to be? I knew I'd spend my summer shopping for a size small instead of an xxl. The new clothes would definitely motivate me to lose weight.

I went on pinterest, and began creating a board for clothes I wanted to wear when I started my senior year. Boot cut jeans, low rise jeans, and cargo jeans were the first to go on the board. Next were tiny spaghetti strapped tops, because I know only skinny, pretty girls got away with wearing those at school. I looked also looked at long sleeve tops too.

I couldn't wait to be the new Margianne, but I felt as though I should change my name too. It'd be like I created a whole new identity. I could for Marge, but that reminded me of "Large Marge". Anne sounded more feminine and softer, Margianne felt fat and ugly. It was decided. I was going to be Anne, the pretty girl who only ate fruit for lunch and went on mile runs for fun. I was going to be Anne by the time my senior year started.