Despite the nightmares plaguing me, the haunting images of traumatic memories eerily clouding my everyday thoughts, I'm trying my best to keep going.
Throughout all these years - this is what I told myself every time when facing off with fear and its restrictive hold.
To keep living life that seeps deeply inside my heart, fighting relentlessly towards that one goal, striving to find even just some small sliver of truth amidst everything which has happened- but I know better than anyone else how tiring it is.
Keeping up appearances alone drains everyone eventually; because no one can still believe in anything truly once they witness such horrific things without crumbling apart themselves.
And yet here we are today; surrounded by nothing but lies and falsities - and I can't seem to stop being drawn into this mess despite knowing where it will inevitably lead us all to if left unchecked.
I can't stop thinking about the awful flashes of images that appear before my eyes whenever I'm not expecting them; they bring me crashing back down to reality, every time.
They had taken everything from me - my sense of safety, security, and self-worth. It's tough enough trying to hold back my emotions so no one gets suspicious about what's going on.
All I want is to be normal again, but no matter what I do or how hard I try, there's nothing left for me; suffering through it all makes life itself not worthy to be cherished as all it has brought me until now is immeasurable pain.
But ig it's fine lol it sounds cringe
