If it Means a lot to you - Niall Horan fan fic (ON HOLD)

Chapter 8

Keely’s POV

    We walked back into Niall’s flat without saying a word to one another. We didn’t talk on the way over to HQ, or the drive back, and it didn’t look like we were going to start now.
I threw off my shoes and walked straight into the bedroom ignoring my best friends presence.
When I was inside I threw off my dress and searched for pajamas in my underwear, I didn’t think Niall would come in.

But of course… he did.

“Oh! Whoa Sorry!” He shouted after he covered his eyes with his hands.
“It’s fine. I mean, it’s just you.” I said as I slipped on a black tank top and some blue plaid pajama bottoms.
he uncovered his eyes while I was putting on my shirt but didn’t continue to stare. He simply walked over to the bed and sat on it while playing with his cell phone.
“Yeah… just me. Just average Niall.” He said under his breath, just loud enough so I could hear him.
I turned around with an upset and surprised expression written across my face.
“What is up with you tonight!?” I asked angrily.
He looked over at me rather shocked.
“Me? Ha, me!? Please explain, little girl.” He snapped back at me.
I hated when he called me that, and he knew it to. Being a year older than me gave him some sense of superiority in his opinion.
“Well, let’s see… You make me go to this stupid club and wear some stupid dress then make a scene with me in front of the paparazzi, which are all going to think we’re dating! Then you wouldn’t let me get a ride home from Tom which was completely unnecessary because none of the other girls went along with you all to headquarters, so I had to wait awkwardly before I was pulled away by Harry! Which by the way, if you need to tell me something, tell me yourself, don’t have your little friend do it for you.” I said. I took a big sigh before continuing, “Some of the things he said… and when you danced close to me like that… just brought these feelings that… ugh never mind.” I finished off, leaning my back against the wall for support, then sliding down to sit on the floor.

He sat up quickly from off the bed with a frustrated look.
“Are you kidding me!? You know you had fun at the club. And let the paparazzi think what they want, we know the truth so why should it matter?  I’m dating every girl I’m spotted with according to them, Keely. Second of all, I know I didn’t let you get a ride with Tom, I should have. But you sort of just snuck off in there and I was worried something happened to you! I wanted you to stay with me, is that so bad?! And most importantly, I didn’t ask Harry to talk to you? He probably chose to on his own…” He informed me, walking closer and closer with each point made.
Now I was just embarrassed… I shouldn’t have snapped at him in the first place.
He reached down a hand to help me up, and I distantly accepted.
He froze for a second when he looked at me.
“Wait… what kind of feelings?” He asked curiously.
I couldn’t talk to Niall about the possible feelings I had for him, it would make things so uncomfortable.
“Never mind Niall. I can’t find the words to describe them, and even if I could, you wouldn’t understand. I’m sorry I got upset.” I said walking away from him to lay on the bed.
I slipped under the covers and cuddled my head into his pillow.
The light turned off and Niall made his way to the bed, using a different pillow to lie his head upon.

    After relaxing in comfortable silence, he had to get a word in.
“Can you at least try to explain?” He asked me kindly.
I sighed and moved the pillow away that I was cuddling into, so I could look at him.
He turned to his side so that we were looking into the eyes of one another.
“Harry told me tonight that you won’t let him date me.” I said, avoiding the question at hand.
“Oh. Uh yeah well, I think it would just be awkward for me but… I mean if you want to date him I guess I can’t stop you…” He talked quietly.
I laughed really hard before I replied.
“Oh gosh no. No I’m not interested in Harry. But he made a comment that you’re really protective of me, and I get that, but I feel like you don’t like me talking to Tom. But the thing is-“
“You have feelings for him, huh?” He interrupted me.
I bit my lip and broke our gaze for a moment.
“A little. I don’t know, we haven’t really gotten to know each other too well. But I just need to know you’re okay with the thought that I might… develope real feelings for him… because you’re my best friend and your opinion really matters.” I said nervously,
He nodded a little and tried to smile.
“If you’re happy… I’m happy.” He responded.
I smiled, feeling a bit emotional, and then grabbed hold of the shirt he was wearing to pull him close to me, so I could hug him tight.
He looked at me surprised that I pulled him into me like that.
Then, he held me close.
I felt so content in that moment, so I didn’t break away, hoping he’d let me fall asleep that way.
I began to close my eyes and drift off until he spoke again.

    “Can you answer my question now?” He whined cutely.
I looked up at him to see his blue eyes upon mine.
Giving me that same look he gave me the night on the balcony, which gave me the same butterflies.
His eyes were like the ocean, big and blue. Sometimes I could really tell what he was thinking, or feeling… but right now I wasn’t even sure what I was thinking.
“I…I uh…” I lost myself in him.
His joking exterior soon became different, more serious, but innocent looking at the same time.
He gave me a cheeky grin then slowly brought his view to my lips, and the grin vanished.
“Uhm…” He said still looking at them, before quickly bringing his view back to my eyes.

we simultaneously took deep breaths and I pulled away.
I turned to the other side to lay on and closed my eyes tightly.
I debated on whether I wanted to say something for a minute

“That… I guess…” I managed to say while I felt my heart beat increase.

Silence filled between us for a minute.

“I’m really sorry… I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable in any way. Sometimes I just… I don’t know… I think you look really beautiful and I like looking at you. You’ve really grown up and I guess I’m still a bit in shock that you’re even here with me right now. It’s nothing more than that, of course!” He tried to reply as best as he could.
I turned back to face him, and he turned back to face me.
“You’re perfect.” I said to him, smiling vulnerably.
He laughed then shut his eyes to fall asleep.
I looked at him a little while longer.
I studied his face and how cute he looked drifting off to sleep.

And when I started imagining kissing him over and over, was when I turned away.