NODLE SEASON 2

EPISODE 11: CANT EVEN GROW CORN IN OHIO

(Zoom in on a Farm House surrounded by a corn field, Ohio man walks out of the house and onto the porch. Helooks over at a white chihuahua sitting next to his McDonald's meal on a table, he begins to speak.)
Chihuahua: Thanks for the help with mah children, Ohio Man!
Ohio: Oh uh.. no problem Pizza Man.
(The CD player next to the chihuahua begins to skip.)
Pizza Man, pounding on the cd player: Damn thing! I fuckin hate technology!
(Ohio Man sits down with his food bag next to Pizza Man and pulls out his burger. The CD player opens and Pizza Man takes out the cd.)
Pizza Man, looking at the bottom and showing it to Ohio: Look! It's all dirty!
Ohio: Well maybe that's why it's skippi—
Pizza Man slams the cd on the ground.)
Pizza Man: Fuck it. We don't need msuic.
Ohio: Well now it's even dirtier...
Pizza Man: Oh yeah?
(Pizza Man snaps the cd. Meanwhile, a Riceopod is lurking in the cornfield off in the distance.... He hears the SNAP and scurries off.)
Pizza Man: There. Garbage.
(Throws it in the trash.)
No more Bob Dylan!
Ohio: ....alright then.... (Continues munching his burger)
(All of a sudden, the ground starts to shake. All the corn plants are shaking, and the ears of corn detach, flying into a black hole and forming a big corn cob ball.)
Pizza: WHAT THE FUCK????
(The corn ball then sucks up more corn, growing a head and limbs. It then turns into a bunny! It starts inching towards the house, it then thwacks the roof in half!)
Ohio: God dammit....
(Ohio man runs off the porch. The corn bunny tries to blast shadow beams at him, but he jumps up and sinks into his arm. The corn bolts towards him, hitting him all over. He and the corn arm then shoot off of the bunny! The bunny then grows another arm. Ohio man takes out his van gun and shoots vans at the bunny, it absorbs them and shoots them back! Ohio jumps back and runs toward a tree, with the bunny chasing him. He climbs up it, turning it into Alfredo sauce and jumping from it, flinging Alfredo sauce at the bunny and jumping onto him, to again bounce off of him and land in the pile of melted Alfredo behind him! The Alfredo spots he left on the bunny got sucked in by the corn, so Ohio shoots duct tape from his watch! The bunny catches the duct tape glob and whips him around, the duct tape detatches and leaves Ohio flying, into a shed! The bunny pelts corn at him, until he is covered in it. Duct tape then surrounds the corn, Ohio jumps up and hits the bunny, removing some corn! He then does it again, and again, the corn bunny then falls over into a pile of corn.)
Ohio Man, smirking: Heh.. easy!
(The corn field then shakes again once more, more corn then joins with the corn pile, and it turns into a bigger bunny! The bunny grows a corn tentacle and grabs Ohio's leg and tries to suck Ohio towards it, but Ohio shoots the corn tentacle with duct tape, and it wraps it up. He then whips it onto the bunny, and tries to take some corn off, but the bunny sucks the tape glob into itself, attempting to pull Ohio in as well! Ohio tries to pull back, his two feet both on the ground as the bunny pulls harder and harder. Ohio then loses control of the tape and loses ground, he is lifted off the ground! Ohio then cuts the tape and bolts, with the bunny behind him and faster than it once was. Ohio sees a shed and runs in, locking the door behind him. He then brings out his phone and calls up a younger brother..)
Brother: Hello?
Ohio: Hey! Florida!! I need help!
Florida Man: Oh Ohio!! Heyyy! How's things?
Ohio: They we're fine UNTIL THE GIANT CORN BUNNY
Florida: The what?
Ohio: Listen, I need your help fighting this! It's too powerful for me!! And it's after me!!
Florida: Oh, alright! I'll be there in a few
Ohio: Alright bring your partner too.
Florida: K
(Ohio hangs up. Florida Man walks up to Neo.)
Florida: We gotta head to Ohio!! You and me! Ohio Man needs us..
Neo: Alright.. (looks up from his newspaper at him) but if we go your NOT wearing that.
Florida: What do you mean?
Neo: I'm just saying, there's no way your gonna survive 30 degree weather in shorts.
Florida: Oh right! Yeah Don't worry Neo! I have the perfect fit for this!
(Florida runs into his room, clashing and banging is then heard from the room as Neo sighs in disappointment. Florida then comes out wearing mideval knight armor.)
Neo: Sigh... what are you wearing....
Fl: Oh yknow! My Ohiowear!
Neo: Right right... alright, Cmon.. let's use the super tank for this..
(Florida Man follows him into the garage. Fade to A portal spawning in Ohio. Out comes a super tank! Zoom in on the tank, and fade in on Florida Man and Neo in the tank, Neo is driving and Florida is staring at the barrel cam.)
Florida, pointing at the screen: I think Ohio's in there. He said something was after him.
Neo: Yeah that's uh.. something alright..
(Neo shoots at the bunny! Corn flies everywhere, but the corn is sucked back in, as the shape of the bunny.)
Neo: Fuck... alright here, give one of these to Ohio.
Florida: Portal guns?
Neo: Yeah! They'll help you guys fight. Meanwhile tho I'll stay distant. I'll jump in when you guys are having trouble.
Florida: Alrigjt!
(Florida Man jumps out and runs towards the bunny and the shed. He pulls out his spine whip and whips at the bunny, chipping off corn from it. The bunny grabs him and whips him around, so Florida then summons Natty Light over its head and soaks it! The bunny gets angry and flings him back, the bunny now has his spine whip as it sucks it into itself. Florida Man then gets another spine whip and whips propane tanks over to the bunny, which then explode on impact! The shed also explodes, as Ohio is knocked out of it.)
Florida: OHIO!!!!
(Ohio looks at him.)
Florida: HERE!!!!
(Florida yeets the portal gun at Ohio, who then catches it. He looks at the portal gun, and back at the bunny, who then charges at him. Ohio bolts, turning around and shooting at it occasionally. A portal spawns behind him, out comes Florida Man riding on a lawnmower!)
Florida Man, passing his brother: HEY LEMME SHOW YOU HOW ITS DONE!!
(Florida jumps off his lawnmower as it turns, he shoots a portal in front of it and a portal besides the bunny. The lawnmower speeds out of the portal and runs through the bunny's legs! Ears and shards of corn go flying everywhere and Florida turns to Ohio.)
Florida: CMON!
Ohio smiles and the two state humans run past the corn bunny, spawning portals and having vans and lawnmowers run though the portals and over the bunny in the process. Florida runs into a portal and spawns another one. He keeps spawning portals and shoots through them so fast around the bunny, that it gets confused. He then starts throwing lawnmowers at the bunny while doing this, the bunny's face is torn into and the lawnmowers ride on it and through it, causing the corn to fly everywhere! After Florida reaches the ground, a portal spawns above the bunny and debri comes out, falling on the bunny and crushing it! Florida looks over and sees Ohio walking away from a huge ground portal, portal gun in his hand. Ohio sees Florida and Florida smiles, he then starts to summon ground portals under random things around the farm; wheel barrels, bales of hay, propane tanks, tractors, woodcutters, even garden hoses! Ohio spawns a portal in front of him, and throws vans and Alfredo sauce onto the bunny. The Alfredo sauce grows and absorbs everything below it. Despite this, Florida Man keeps dumping things through portals onto the growing heap.)
Ohio: FLORIDA!!!
Florida: ?
Ohio: WHAT THW FUCK ARE YOU DOING???? YOUR MAKING IT WORSE!!!
Florida: OH I AM????
Ohio: YEAH STO-
(All of a sudden, the glob of stuff grabs Ohio's leg with a spine whip! It whips him across the yard, and in front of the porch, where Pizza man is.)
Ohio: Mmmmmm...
Pizza: You ok there?
Ohio, sitting up: ...n-no....
(Pizza looks up at the heap that's trying to absorb Florida Man. Florida Man runs from it and tries to throw lawnmowers at it.)
Pizza: Could I help fight that thing or?
Ohio, giving him the portal gun: Y..yeah..here..
Pizza, taking it: The hell is it?
Ohio: Portal gun..Florida can will help you
(The chihuahua walks over to the scene, with Florida Man trying to run from the now formed debris bunny. He spawns a lawnmower.)
Florida: SHOOT A PORTAL!!
Pizza: WHAT??
Florida: SHOOT A PORTAL AT IT
(Pizza shoots the lawnmower and it explodes. The impact of the explosion leaves Florida flying, right into the bunny's stomach.)
Ohio: FLORIDA!!!
Pizza: DAMN THING IT DIDNT SPAWN A PORTAL!
Ohio: FLORIDA'S IN THE BUNNY!!
Pizza: HUH?
Ohio: WHY DID YOU SHOOT FLORIDA IN THE BUNNY???
Pizza: I Shot the lawnmower like he said! Not nah fault the gun didn't do its job!! Fucking junk!!
(Pizza throws the gun on the ground, breaking it. Ohio stares at the gun.)
Ohio: THAT WAS MY BROTHERS GUN YOU ASSHOLE!!
Pizza: Ahh well he can buy a new one.
Ohio, picking up the chihuahua: TELL THAT TO HIS FUCKING FACE ASSHOLE!!!
(Ohio then throws the chihuahua into the bunny. Pizza lands in a pile of corn. He swims around a bit in the debris, until he finds Florida man! He also appears to be fighting a riceopod..
Florida takes his spine whip and chokes the riceopod with it, the riceopod then breaks it open and takes the spine bits, he throws them at Florida, denting his Ohiowear.
All of a sudden, Pizza tackles him! He mauls the riceopod, biting at him and scratching. The bunny then goes limp and starts to fall apart. All the debri comes crashing down, Florida Man lands on his feet, the riceopod on his back, and Pizza on riceopod, still mauling him. The chihuahua then sees a slim Jim stick and starts beating the riceopod with it. The riceopod bats Pizza away and runs.)
Riceopod: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT IM SORRY!!!
(The riceopod rolls up into a ball and tries to roll away, but Ohio catches him with his duct tape watch.)
Ohio: YOU HAVE A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO YOUNG MAN.
(The riceopod unrolls. And Ohio pulls him over with the tape.)
Riceopod: Ugh... listen, I just wanted to have fun. (Pauses and looks around) I might have... got carried away...
Ohio: Yeah no Shit Sherlock
Florida: This is fun to you?? Property damage is fun to you???
Riceopod: .....yes.
Pizza: If I ever see ya on this property ever again, that gonna be the last time you'll EVER see light (does a knife to throat gesture)
Riceopod: O-ok.... Sorry....
(The riceopod rolls away, on the road and down the street. He then rolls into the ditch. He lays low and pulls out his phone, to call his boss...)
Riceopod: Hey boss..
Nodle: Oh heyyyy Chica? Whacha need?
Chica: I think my cover got blown...
Nodle: Oh don't worry! Lemme try to handle it
Chica: WAIT!!
Nodle: Hm?
Chica: I still get my paycheck right?
Nodle: Oh yeah! Just let me take care of it first...
(Nodle hangs up. He spawns a portal in the sky and looks around. He then spots the 3, including Neo. He bolts and impacts the ground in front of them, causing a huge explosion. He then pushes Neo towards the wall and chokes him.)
Nodle: What the FUCK brought you here?
Neo: None of your business Rover.
(Florida Man then thwacks him over the head with a slim Jim! Nodle falls to the floor.)
Florida: NEO!! QUICK!! TO THE TANK!! WE'LL DISTRACT HIM!
(Neo bolts to the tank and Pizza mauls Nodle. Nodle gets up and tears the chihuahua off of him.)
Pizza: YOUR ANOTHER ONE OF THEM CRIPS ARENT YOU???
Nodle, flying up: Doesn't matter what I am.
(Nodle opens his black hole chest and suck up everything on the farm. The loose debris, the woodcutter, the wheel barrels, hay, some loose corn from the crops, propane tanks, just about anything that's not bolted to the ground. After a propane tank hits him, and explodes in his face, he drops down to the ground. He then summons ground tentacles and throws them in the air! While the three are being thrown up in the air, he summons shadow bombs in his hands, and throws them at the three. He keeps throwing until—
BONK!! Florida Man came down to bonk Nodle in the head with his Slim Jim. Nodle opens his chest, sucking it in, and he spawns the slim Jim in his hand! Florida pulls out a new one and Nodle knocks Him back. Florida takes some grass, which turn into caterpillars and he throws them at Nodle's face! Nodle then pushes him back with a ground spike! He tears out the ground with telekinesis and pelts to at the boys, who then jump on all the rocks, Florida Man gets to him first. Florida Man is then thwacked off the rock with the slim Jim, but then he spawns a portal behind him and Nodle! Ohio, while jumping onto the ground bits, is pelting Alfredo sauce at Nodle, which gives Florida the chance to tackle him to the ground! Florida grabs the slim Jim and starts beating Nodle with it, but then Nodle spawns a platform on his arm to block, he lowers it just to shoot a shadow beam at Florida's eyes! Florida covers his eyes in pain and he's knocked off. Nodle spawns a glob of gum and rams into the state humans into a tree. He then bolts at Pizza and grabs him up in the gum, and sticks it to the porch. Nodle sticks gum all over the farm. He then comes over to Florida and Ohio.)
Nodle: You done yet dinosuar?
Florida: Oh we're far from done!
Ohio: Actually... I think you forgot something
Nodle: What
Ohio: The tank!
(All of a sudden, SPLASH!!! The tank comes over and splashes Nodle and the gum away! The pressure is so hard that the gum is destroyed. Neo then splashes his brother in boiling water. The water runs up his arms and causes a film. The film then soon turns into giant water arms! Nodle grabs some gum balls and throws them at the tank, the tank begins to spin and use freeze breath, freezing the gum. Florida Man gets out his spine whip and whips it towards Nodle, it hits his water arms and him! The tank then shoots freeze beams at his arms and freezes them, as Florida Man manages to squeeze out, he hops over to Nodle, spawns a portal all the way in a tree, and then next to Nodle on the ground. He then kicks Nodle, and he falls down the tree, with the arms breaking! The three go over to him.)
Florida: You planned this whole corn thing didnt you...
Nodle: *cough cough* Damn right dinosuar....
Pizza: Shoulda known it was a damn crip!!
(waves the Slim Jim)
GIMME MY DAMN MONEY YOU-
(Nodle blows fire at him, catching his tail on fire.)
Nodle: Bye losers.
(Nodle Fades and Pizza runs to the hose to put his tail out. Florida turn back to Pizza.)
Florida: You good bro?
Pizza, walking over all soking wet: Yeh
Florida: Good.. good..
Pizza: On the other hand NOW MY FUCKIN FARM IS RUINED!!
Neo, walking over: Yeah we can uh.. we can see that
Pizza: Where the hell were you the whole time?
Neo: In the tank?
Pizza: Ooooh oh ohohohoh ok!
Florida: Yeah Neo's pretty smart he built that tank all himself
Pizza: Oh Oh! Ok!
Ohio: So you want help cleaning this place up or?
Pizza: Yeh! Just get the more easier stuff out of the way tho I'll come in later and do everythin' else.
Neo: Should we help?
Pizza: If ya want ya can I mean-
Florida: I don't mind helping
Pizza: Alright! Cmon then!
(Ohio, Florida and Pizza go to the woodcutter, Neo then follows.)
Neo: I guess I'll help.. I'm not a good lifter tho
Ohio: your a husky what do you mean????
(Neo laughs and the scene zooms out.)