Unaided Without You | PJM

1.

" all my life I've been finding myself..." walking in the forest here and there exploring with big doe eyes . She was there, singing her melodious song .

"Still I couldn't figure out.. " Light rays of sunlight, long -thick trees , dry leaves on the ground... with different flowers in her hand. She was singing and finding flowers.
"This is confusing world... with all Goods and bads..." she stopped .

Tears formed in her eyes.
"Waiting for my mind to move out... "
"Between the four walls here I'm..
Finding myself in the darkest time..."
She took a deep breath and held a grip on her flowers

"Oh I know that!... how bad it feels to be .....
With no identity...like.. why do I get fall Again..
and which way to step up " she inhaled her breath and wiped her tears
"But... I will never give up
And I'll fight till I mess up...!"

She looked down at the flowers.

"Suzanne!!" A female in her 40s shouted from beside

The girl turned...

"Where you were? What if someone saw you and asked about your identity..?!" She scolded her and held her arms

"I don't have one !" The girl replied softly

"Suzanne! You know how your mother will react if she knew you were here alone!" The woman changed the topic

"Ms. Cheong , she is just like that.. but it isn't my fault.. she has always seen me as future queen not her daughter!" Suzanne angered at Ms Cheong's statement
Suzanne shove off Ms Cheong and went to the castle..

Ms cheong sighed and followed her.

She climbed on her horse and started making her way to castle ..

Here it was.... the yangju castle .. it gives old but aesthetic vibes .. dark black and brown walls.. many long towers attached with it.. it very big from inside.. surrounded by trees and many homes.. it was the biggest castle in the country at that time.. big dark clouds were covering and touching the tower..  it was the time of evening

She went In the castle through the back door. Suzanne stopped  her horse at the basement and she got off it.. she adored her horse and patted him..

"You're the only one who loved me, I guess ... one flower , for you.." she attached the yellow one on its saddle

(Author: just imagine it.. the place is real but the facts I'm telling  about the castle are fictional so don't Google it)

She then went inside the castle

Suzanne was confused. She has always been , confused by her ownself, by her mother, by everything.. she had always been finding happiness out somewhere, but she never found ..

this is 1976....Suzanne was an alone heir of yangju's current queen Kim nam ra . Nam ra fell in love and got married to an American named Johnson. They had Suzanne

. Nam ra's father wanted her to marry korean king. But she denied. She ran from her house and went with John. When Suzanne was 5 years old . Her father's men attacked nam ra and Johnson's house . They killed Johnson and took back nam ra and Suzanne..

nam ra was forced to become the queen . Her father wanted Suzanne to be hid from the world . He didn't wanted Suzanne to reveal her identity. Nam ra wanted her daughter to live her life like she wanted to live. But her dad never supported it...

no one in the town knew who Suzanne was ,except her care taker Ms Cheong. She used to stay in her room alone every day. Everyone in town was first curious about nam ra when she got announced as queen. Who she is . Why she didn't get married. But never had a gut to ask her.. and it's been 17 years since nam ra became queen.

"Where were you?" A cold voice was heard in Suzanne's ears.

Suzanne stopped her movements. She turned her head down and faced back

" Why do you care?' She said simply

"Suzanne!" Nam ra shouted.

Suzanne flinched. Tears formed in her eyes. She turned her hands into fists.

"She was with me ,my queen ! " Ms. Cheong interrupted and bowed

Nam ra sighed closing her eyes. "Go to your room!" She ordered Suzanne with an expressionless face.

Her eyes became soft as Suzanne went. " I know that she went to the forest. Ms Cheong.. " she said

Ms Cheong's eyes widen

" don't worry.. I know she loves picking different flowers and decorate them . She used to do that in America with her father.. " nam ra said as tears started forming in her eyes.

"I just wanted her to speak truth to me ..but I guess she still is a kid.. when my eyes will meet with hers.. I'll know that she has became perfect to be a queen..." she held her hands from back. And smiled lightly.

"You just make sure to be with her, until my father dies .. he still is a problem and till that, I have to be cold to her.." Ms Cheong bowed

Suzanne's pov

"Why do I feel like all my life I will have to be here .. closed... suffocated.. huff.." i said as i was sitting in the balcony with an ink, feather and a paper.. making random drawings...

I was looking outside the balcony as I  heard some steps under the bushes..

Who would be that?

I stood up and went down the castle from the backside gate .

When I looked around I found the same steps going out of the castle . it was dark now the moon has come.

I thought of following the steps

It was a boy . From backside I could only see his ruffly grayish hairs and his perfect slim body running between the town .

Then he went into a home. I was just going to knock on the door but I heard

"Your majesty is here!" A man shouted

My eyes widen. If she saw me , she will kill me .
I hid behind the man's home. All the people went out of their houses and bowed to her as she went. I sighed in relief.

"Who are you?"  Someone whispered in my ear as I Screamed .

"Are you crazy? " I yelled . I held my chest and took a long breath totally shocked

As I  looked into his eyes I was mesmerized.  Those little brown eyes.. perfect nose, plump kissable lips..he was so beautiful

"Done staring Me?" He interrupted

I looked away
"Who are you and why were you outside my house?" 

" I'm-" Suddenly I realized I shouldn't be telling him about me.. no one in this town know about me
"No one.. I just accidentally came here" I completed ,looking away from him

He raised his eyebrows.  " no one? Don't you have a name or what? "  He asked
" no.. I can't tell you.  "   I turned around

"Oh is it because I'm stranger? Let me introduce myself
I'm jimin..."

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Author- that song in the first was actually written by me .. so don't embarrass me please🥲😭