lost in my pain || 𝙃𝙐𝙀𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙆𝘼𝙄 ✔ [2]

dreaming

"He said that?" My stomach rolls and I heave, almost feeling like I'm going to throw up. He said that to her? How could he say that to my little sister? I rub my temple, hoping to relieve the headache that was forming probably from no caffiene.

"Yes," She whispers, clearing her throat as if she was crying. "Is it true, Hyuka?"

Is it true?

No. It can't be.

Or is it?

The doorknob rattles and I can hear my hyungs making noise, wanting to come inside.

"Um, I'm not sure, Bahiyyih but i have to go."

"Kai... if it was true, I wouldn't judge you at all." My head starts to pound and I grip my phone, wishing she wasn't so nice. "I love you, Kamal," She's too sweet and I don't deserve a sister like her.

"I love you too," She hangs up and I decide to look through my Instagram feed. Nothing really special. I sigh before getting to my feet and unlocking the door. Beomgyu walks in, I roll my eyes as I flop onto my bed.

"What were you doing in here?" He asks.

"It's my bedroom," I reply, yawning. I kind of just want to sleep now. I wish all the bad things would just disappear and I won't have to worry about them anymore.

"Do you want to talk?"

"About what?"

"Taehyun slamming the door in our faces, or uh you throwing a pillow at Soobin." I sigh, leaning my head against my pillow. My brain is blank as he keeps speaking. I block it all out, not realizing that I'm doing so. I daydream about our debut or think about the fun times of filming Can't You See Me or Magic. I wish life was easy like those days. Even during We Lost the Summer was fun.

Why can't life be like those days? The fun days of Crown, Blue Hour or having insanely crazy Vlives with each other. I sigh and that's when Beomgyu's words snap me out of my daydreams.

"So you agree?"

"Sure, hyung," I reply dreamily, not even knowing what I was saying yes to.

"Do you even realize what you are saying?" I shrug, looking up at the ceiling. "You just agreed about talking to us about your time with Sik and that therapist."

I lower my arms from underneath my head, and stare at hyung who's sitting on the bed next to me. Say what? What did he just say? My heart starts to race as I realize what I just agreed to.

"What?" I ask, confused. "Are you crazy? You kept talking even if I wasn't listening?"

"You acted like you were listening."

"I wasn't!" I gasp, as he grabs my arm and pulls me to my feet. "I'm not going to talk to anyone."

"Yes you are. You promised," I shake my head multiple times as he dragged me out of my room as I tried to pull away from him. "Stop struggling, you need to talk anyways,"

"Stop forcing me!" I snap, pushing my heels into the carpet.

"Well, stop dreaming then!"

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double update for my coco darling, aina