Letting go

What next ?

Later that day , the whole house was silent but I noticed that mum was on her own, her and dad were literally inseparable. so where the hell is he now ? I wouldn't think he would leave mum on her own especially now that she is like this.

She sat on the sofa staring at a blank screen, there was nothing on the TV. Maybe she was using her imagination, its blank! I was going to walk in but maybe she needed this time alone to get to grips with what was happening to her.

I walked back up the carpeted stairs to my room, she needed time alone and I did too. This was crazy, cancer? Why didn't they tell me? It's not like I'm incapable to understand.

I fell on my bed and stared at the blank canvas of my ceiling, lank that's hat my mind was. Nothing. I could just about hear the wind whistling through the window and the rain which was still pelting down from the clouds above. I hadn't bothers to turn my light on when I came in so it was dark all except the square where the lamppost light was entering, the rain drops made shadows so I watched the shadows fall.

Suddenly,I got a text from my friend ( Ellie ) asking if I was still coming to the party everyone in my tutor was invited to . "Mum -" I paused, it was pointless trying to ask to go to the party anyway. After a few minutes I was called down stairs by mum. Through out my journey down the stairs I kept on whispering to myself 'positive thinking Ocean'.