Fem! Robin (to be fixed later)

The End that came before the Beginning

*Image does not belong to me, found on a wallpaper website

Dick still remembers what happened that night. The world stopped spinning as everything was still. The older Graysons' falling was the longest and quickest moment of her life. She remembers the screams, one stood out the most, a heart-wrenching cry filled with desperation and fear, she thinks that one was hers. She remembers kneeling on that platform high above the crowd looking down below as everyone surrounded her family members. She wasn't able to move, wasn't able to breathe. Just watch from above, like she was watching a horror movie. A really horrible, awful horror movie. It didn't seem real, she didn't believe it had happened. She sat up there for what felt like hours, watching, not believing. It was only about 15 minutes before Haily realized she wasn't in the crowd. He suddenly screamed her name. Everyone stepped back a bit before realizing what he said. The other circus performers started to shout out her name as well. One of the officers was able to grab the shoulder of the ringmaster. "Who is Dick?" After that, all noises stopped. Everyone paused and the little robin fell back against the pole that held up the platform. It was suddenly all too real. They were looking for her, this wasn't a movie, this happened. She started to hyperventilate and cry.

"Richard... She's their kid..." The ringmaster's voice echoed in the tent and everyone froze. The silence lasted for a few seconds before the officer turned and told everyone to look for her. The shouting started again, everyone was calling her name. She didn't want to be found. If someone found her then it was real... she would have to climb down and see blood on the floor and the looks of pity on everyone's faces... 'Please, don't find me...' She curled up into a smaller ball and silenced her already muffled sobs.

Eventually, the search moved outside. She didn't know why no one thought to check the platform, but maybe because this was her first time up here. Sure she went up in practice, but she never started from up here during a live show. Too much risk of... Falling... with no net. Typically if she joined at all one of the strong men threw her up into her parents' arms, that way in case of the worst possibility and they missed they could catch her when she came back down. Today she was prepared though, her parents thought she was finally big enough to jump far enough from the platform to be caught. Her 9th birthday passing not too long ago. Not to mention she finally broke the 4ft threshold. A little short for her age, but oh well.

Her parents thought it would be a cool surprise for the crowd and other performers alike, for a little blur of red, yellow, and green to leap off the tall platform when no one was expecting it. She curled tighter into a ball. No one would expect it now huh? No one but she knew the plan now.

The others must think that she ran as soon as she saw what was happening. Her whole world falling down and down and down. Maybe they thought she was lucky and happened to be playing on her computer again, far away from the crowd and the noise and the deafening silence that followed soon after. That she was far away in the Grayson's trailer solving one of her dad's computer bugs he made to test her. He did that occasionally, when he thought she was too tired to do a show, he'd set her up with her small hand-me-down laptop and busted-but-still-somehow-working headphones, give her a complicated bug or two to keep her entertained and have her spend the night in the train car.

She wasn't though. She was here. High above the crowd. The horror show below. Hiding from reality. The time slowly caught up to the now. The realization started to set in. She wanted to close her eyes so she didn't have even the smallest chance of seeing the nightmare on the ground, but she couldn't. Every time she did she'd see her parents' faces, right as the deafening crack of the cords breaking sounded, looking at her, begging her not to jump to them, not to join them in their inevitable fall. They looked pained and sad and desperate and happy all at once. Pained that this was the last time they'll see her, sad that they never got to say goodbye, desperate for her to live on, and happy that she was safe. Safer than them. She watched as they fell, keeping eye contact with her mama until the very last second before her mama closed her eyes, signaling her to do the same.

As the crowd drifted out of the large tent, the quieter it got. It was too quiet. Where was her papa's loud heartbeat, which she could hear every time he pulled her close for a hug after every show? Her mama's small, almost soundless, snort of laughter as her papa wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close for a kiss on the temple. The laughing of the clowns as they bumped and prodded each other chatting about the newest contestant on their very own "hottest looking gal's who 'totally' dig me" list? Where was Hal, who would always give the exact same speech, every night about how 'it was great, even better than last night'? And the youngest knife thrower who would stand behind him and mouth out the same words with over-exaggerated hand jesters, until the giggles became noticeable and Hal would turn around and find him there, paused mid-gesture with the goofiest grin on his face? The loud deafening laughter that would follow when Hal would threaten to make him the lion tamer instead (even though tom the thrower had a horrible relationship with animals)?

The silence didn't last forever though. Eventually, the platform under her creaked as soft footprints landed next to her. Not long after, a gravely voice spoke. She supposed it would have been scary, but nothing was scarier than what faced her at the bottom of the tent. Or maybe it wasn't scary because of the words spoken. "Everyone is worried about you." The silence came back for a brief moment. "They want to help you, save you from seeing what happened before you find out yourself. Suppose that's a bit too late though."

The last sentence almost makes her laugh, 'that's morbid'. "Suppose so." The quiet lasted a little longer. "I don't want them to find me. Because if they do, then... then...".

"It becomes real?" The question hangs in the air. She doesn't know what to say.

"It's already real." She's surprised by just how angry she sounded. She stands up and walks to the edge, looking down. At her entire world. Her parents. Dead on the floor. It seems as though someone has covered them up with white sheets. It doesn't matter though, she knows what they look like underneath them. "It happened. I saw it. I saw the wire snap and I couldn't grab their hands. I saw the weird men hanging around here earlier and I didn't say anything. It's my fault. That's what's real." She turned around and faced the black figure, a look of anger and sadness, and numbness on her face. "I'm not a victim. I'm guilty. That's. What's. Real." She glances at the rope hanging just within jumping distance, if she swings on it it'll get her to the side of the tent and she can get to the floor from there. Then she can run. Run away and never return. She won't have to talk about it. She told him. He can tell them. Then they won't look for her and she'll be fine. They'll hate her, sure. Mad that she didn't say anything earlier. Then they'll stop looking and it'll be easier to hide.

She looks the city's protector in the eyes, runs, and jumps.

Catching the rope in one hand she swings to the nearest tent pole then slides down, she ducks into the opening nearby and books it. She flips and twists around obstacles, dodging poles and boxes.

With the momentum she gained, it was almost easy to jump and pull herself onto the top of the train car. She ran along the roof before jumping off when the path was clear. Doing a roll to absorb the impact, she stood and began sprinting again. She ran out of the trainyard and ducked into the first ally she came across. She ran without thought, taking random turns right and left. Honestly, she was a little surprised she hadn't run into anyone yet.

After about 15 minutes she stopped. She tucked herself between a dumpster and some boxes and slid to the floor to catch her breath. She curled herself into the smallest ball she could, sobs she refused to let out made her shoulders tense. She just sat and listened. Once her breathing became semi-normal she started to focus on the world around her, trying to hear footprints or voices, clues that would tell her how soon they would find her. Hearing only the chittering and scrambling of the other small beings hiding in the ally (most likely rats or perhaps a cat), she relaxed a little more. Her eyes began to droop as the adrenaline from her impromptu run started to wear off. She quickly gave her makeshift cover a once-over. After finding that no one should be able to see her unless they got on their hands and knees, she let the exhaustion (both physical and mental) consume her and fell into a deep sleep.

*Authors note: I will be posting this story on Quotev, fanfiction.net (if I can figure it out), AO3, and my personal blog as well.