The Never Ending Story

Is This The End?

Is it? it can't be.. This is what I'm wondering for the past few weeks.. It can't end like this can it?

For days I've been thinking, is there something I can do, to make this situation better? Could I do something to make him stay. No, I can not, change someones mind, that has already been changed. I've learned this a while ago, but I never seemed to realize, how letting go is also part of this. I thought, if I loved myself, like I would someone else, I will be able to love someone. I will have the strenght, to leave someone and be left if that time was right. I knew, it will hurt. Why do I still continue and continue doing this to myself? But somehow, I'll stay and follow my heart. Even though, it seems like I got stabbed into my heart at some point.

Heres a little backstory,

my boyfriend and I, we were happy months ago. We were one.. Now suddendly it's all falling appart. No, I don't think that this is my fault. I used to always think like that, but now I know, it's not always my fault. There's two sides of a story. Not always mine.. But both. Months after, it fell appart. He had studies and i have my school, my free time and myself. Loving myself like I love him is hard. I did it. After a while I realized, that life is not all about love. so I'm asking myself, is this the end? I adore him, I love how he is but sometimes I don't know what I want. I'm breaking myself appart, for not knowing, I hurt people around me and most importantly, myself. I don't know how long, I'll go on living like this. At some point I gotta do what's best for me. I don't wanna give up on him that easily, I don't wanna do this to him, to us. I gotta keep on.. Asking him for more.