Bowie,
There are a million great dystopian books, but I'm definitely a classics girl. Orwell deserves this one.
Trust me when I say I understand the "deadbeat mom" thing. And not in a "I have it worse than you" way, but in a "I can understand" way. There's nothing I hate more than when people compare their lives to mine- not that I have it the worst out of anyone in the world, not at all- because it feels like it just diminishes the individuality of my experience. Yes, everyone is hurting, but that doesn't mean that anyone's pain is any less valid because of it.
I've lived in this town my whole life and as much as I love it, I've always wanted out. To see the world, go to New York City, Los Angeles, or London... So when I tell you that you're one of my favorite people in this "goddamn town" too, I mean it. I think you're one of the few people I can talk to.
I feel so fucking suffocated here. Everyone knows everything about everyone, and there's no privacy. I'm not ungrateful for what people have given me, especially with my "deadbeat mom," but if I'm anything other than their "perfect little angel," I feel like I'm letting them all down.
Sometimes it feels like my life isn't mine. Sometimes it feels like my life is the town's. The only person who has ever made me feel like I don't owe them anything is the person who I owe the most. He practically took me in when things got bad at home, but he never expected anything other than me.
I know we started out lighthearted and I hope this doesn't scare you away. But sometimes there's things you need to say that you can't let other people hear, and therapy is way too expensive.
If you take anything from this letter, please just know that you have a friend here.
Leave your letter in the book that made you rethink something in your life.
Yours,
Rhiannon
YOU ARE READING
the town and the city (j. mariano)
Romancejack kerouac probably never intended for his works to become a source of communication, but who cares? (OR in which mandy forester and jess mariano fall in love through the pages of a book)
